Rachel Berry Puckerman, Queen of Hormones
by PUCKLEBERRY PURE
Summary: Rachel's pregnant and she does everything in a BIG way! This is the sequel to "The Honeymoon". Of course there's smut!
1. Chapter 1

**Glee Disclaimer: The reality is… it's not mine. My fantasy is that Ryan Murphy will come around to Team Puckleberry. (Yes, I have always had a thing for the bad boys!)**

**Mark Salling: He's not mine either…, but he's still my fantasy! LOVE to hear him sing… and watch him do… anything. (Is it wrong to only want to see him without a shirt?)**

**THANK YOU to my LOYAL readers and REVIEWERS. My reviewers are the best! They encourage me and convince me when I am waffling on things I have done. They are WONDERFUL, and I appreciate it immensely!**

The next morning Puck went out and bought the newspapers he knew Rachel would want to scan for reviews of the performance. He didn't read them because he was there, he knew how amazing she was, and he was certain that anyone else would have seen it too. Plus, he didn't want Rachel to think he had to protect her from any potential "bad" reviews. That was his first mistake.

When Rachel woke up, she first noted the smell of pancakes and hoped her stomach could handle syrup this morning. It was usually about 50/50 love-hate.

She wandered out to the kitchen and looked for the newspaper. She had this thing about loving to read a "fresh" newspaper, so she always appreciated it when Noah let her be the first to peruse the news. This morning, however, she wanted to DIVE into the reviews. She scanned carefully. Good. Amazing. Sensual. Brilliant. Few snafus. Blah. Blah. Blah. Then her eyes honed in on the most alarming thing she had ever read about herself, and that included all those horrid things from high school!

**Having seen the tremendously talented Ms. Berry in several other performances, this reviewer is saddened to note she has joined the leagues of other actresses seeking breast augmentation in the hopes to gain more roles. As Ms. Berry was not previously well-endowed, my surprise at her topless debut was more than doubled at the ample bosom on display. It's unfortunate that so many actresses find surgical procedures the necessary route to stardom.**

"He- ! He-! He-! I can't believe that he thinks that I would…" she threw down the paper in disgust. Her face had gone red, and she was spluttering, but also near tears.

"What'sa matter, babe? He can't have said anything bad about you. You were amazing!"

Puck grabbed the newspaper, read the offensive paragraph, and that's when he made his second mistake. He laughed.

He knew it as soon as he saw her face. She would find it funny in a couple of weeks, right? Here she was knocked up, with killer boobs, and this reviewer assumed she had had a boob job. That was fucking hilarious!

"I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to laugh."

She broke down in sobs.

"Rachel, don't cry. Don't cry now. I love you. I'm sorry. He only said good things about your acting."

"Noah, the man implied that I wouldn't have gotten the role without these," she said, gesturing to her breasts, "humombo boobs!"

"Rachel, I know I don't have as great a vocabulary as you, but I think you just totally made up a word."

She smiled a little at that. Then her eyes started welling with tears.

"Rachel, maybe you forgot that _professionally_ you're Rachel Berry. Rachel Berry never let a thing anyone said about her bother her in high school. Why would Rachel Berry care what one person thinks about her body, when you know darn well you didn't have those boobs when you got the role? The review said you were "the embodied spirit" of the role and you had classic talent that would carry you on stage for a lifetime. Why are you upset about that, babe? The man just wanted to discourage actresses from going under the knife. When this baby thing comes out, he'll probably print a retraction."

She sniffed a little, and he pulled her into his shoulder for a hug.

"Noah, I just thought I could keep this pregnancy a secret, but if everybody's going to be ogling my boobs now, I probably won't be able to."

He stiffened a little. "Don't remind me, babe. Nobody dislikes the whole world eyeing your boobs more than me. And fucking Adam… don't get me started!"

She smiled at him.

"You were such a good sport last night, Noah. Thank you. It meant the world to me to know how much you trust me."

"I always trust you, Rachel. It's the rest of the fucking world I worry about."

So Rachel made it through the shows until Monday, when she had two days off. She could barely move; she was so tired. Puck held her in his arms that morning. He had rearranged his schedule so that he always had Mondays and Tuesdays off with her. He figured they would have to alternate more when they had the baby, but for now, he wanted to be with her all the time.

He slid out of bed and went to the kitchen to make her breakfast. He made her an omelet with green peppers, onions, broccoli, cheese, olives, and mushrooms. When it was ready, he brought it to her on a little tray with a side of milk, water, and a bagel. She had complained that orange juice bothered her stomach, and he knew the milk was a risk, but he wanted her to have the calcium.

"Hey, babe," he told her, rubbing her face gently. "I made you some breakfast."

She looked up at him sleepily. "Noah?"

She sat up with a smile on her face and hungrily ate every last morsel.

"That was fabulous, Noah. Thank you. Do you think next time you could make bacon too?"

Puck startled. He'd never seen Rachel eat bacon. Never. He'd barely seen her eat meat. If she did it was usually fish or chicken, and now she was asking for bacon?

"Anything for you, Love. Anything for you."

They had called their parents with the news on Saturday because they knew that Puck's mom already knew, and it was only a matter of time before she told her dads anyway. They had, however, sworn them all to secrecy. They weren't even telling Jenna yet because they wanted to go to the doctor and wait until Rachel was at least 12 weeks along. Other than that, nobody knew. Nobody. Puck figured some of those in the cast suspected, but he was not going to mention it to Rachel. She was freakishly obsessed with not telling anyone she worked with.

He cleared away her breakfast tray and climbed into bed with her to hold her in his arms. He loved to hold her. She was on top of him, and his hands started traveling her body. He kissed her neck, and she leaned into him. When his lips moved to her mouth, he used his tongue to probe her mouth tenderly. She climbed over his waist and put both her knees on the sides of him. He pulled her "Team Puckleberry" t-shirt off and reached for her breasts. He had learned to be very careful when caressing her breasts now. He stroked them gently and leaned up toward her to run his tongue over a nipple. She moaned a little. He moved to the other breast and continued to lave a nipple with his hot tongue.

"Noah, we have to stop. We're going to the doctor today. We can't do this."

Shit. He'd forgotten about that. Damn. Not only had he had to watch some other guy fondle his wife's breasts, he hadn't even gotten the chance to fondle them himself all weekend. Now, just as she was NOT too tired and sore… he was unable to proceed. Damn. This little baby was cockblocking already, and he wasn't even born!

He kissed her, and gently moved her off him. She was just to close, and his dick was honing in on the Promised Land.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't want to tease you. And, I especially wanted to thank you for handling the intimate scenes I had to do with Adam."

"I didn't fucking like it," he admitted.

"I know, and I want to thank you in my own special way. Remember, we can handle whatever the rest of the world throws at us. We're Team Puckleberry."

He smiled at that, but when she pushed him back on the bed after pulling his shirt off, he smiled bigger. When she pulled his boxers down and wrapped her sweet little mouth around his rock-hard cock, he moaned gently. He rubbed her hair, and watched her take him in and out of her mouth in tight, hard strokes. He fucked into her mouth a little, knowing she could handle it with no gag reflex. In an embarrassingly short amount of time, he was tightening up. He tapped her shoulder and motioned to her. She grabbed a couple of tissues from the end table and used her hand to finish him. She had been so sick, that neither of them wanted to risk another bout of morning sickness (why call it that when it could happen any time/anywhere?), so they were both choosing to play it safe.

He sang a little "Brown-eyed Girl" in the shower afterward, feeling much better about the world than he had. When she had showered and gotten ready, they headed to their first OBGYN appointment for pregnancy confirmation. The nurse met with them first and confirmed the pregnancy with a quick test. The doctor met with them and discussed their case.

"Your breasts are swollen and tender?"

Rachel agreed, but the doctor looked to Puck when he said "Four times swollen."

"You've had some morning sickness?"

"It's pretty much all the time," she answered.

"How about mood swings? Any irrational behavior? Extreme highs and lows?"

"Not really," she answered.

Puck startled, and again the doctor looked at him. When Puck's eyebrows shot up, the doctor wrote something down. Unfortunately, that's when Rachel noticed the exchange and narrowed her eyes at him. Thank the Lord he had gotten something BEFORE the appointment.

"Since we're not sure when this happened, and you were on the pill, we first need to determine your due date. We'll have to do an early ultrasound to let us know how far along you are. You seem to be experiencing a slightly accelerated wave of hormones for so early in the trimester, but we want to rule out that you aren't further along."

He continued the rest of his preliminary examination and let them listen to the baby's heartbeat. The sound sent chills down Puck's spine. He squeezed Rachel's hand and noticed the tears in the corners of her eyes. When he looked back to the doctor, he noticed the frown on his face. He watched him and waited.

"Let's just see if we can get into the ultrasound now."

Puck tried not to panic, but he knew something was wrong. Women had to _schedule_ those. You didn't just get one when you showed up.

He checked with the technician and announced they were able to get right in. So when they crowded into the tiny room, they found the baby right away, and the technician started measuring things. Puck didn't think it looked like much of anything, but the doctor kept labeling parts and saying what they were. He confirmed how far along they were which would mean they may have gotten pregnant as early as their wedding night. Then he leaned over to point at a different section of the screen.

"Do you know what that is?" he asked the couple.

Puck felt Rachel tense up. He squeezed her hand protectively. They both just shook their heads and their faces creased with worry.

"That's your other baby. You're having twins. I thought I heard two heartbeats, but I wanted to be sure."

"Damn it, Noah. Your fucking sperm is too damn powerful! TWINS! How the hell am I supposed to handle this shit? I can't have two little badasses running around. What the hell were we thinking? We don't have enough space! I'm too little to carry two of your Pucksters around. We can't do this. I can't believe that you did this. You are so getting a vasectomy like you joked about in high school."

The doctor's mouth just dropped open. Puck looked at him and shrugged.

The doctor backed out of the room with a lame, "I'll just leave you two to adjust… Meet me back in my office in 10 minutes."

"Rachel, I love you. This is exciting. I can't believe we're having twins."

She looked at him and started crying again.

"I can't have two babies!" she whailed. "I'm tiny. I can't do it!"

"Rachel, they'll be twice as much fun."

"Your damn sperm should be considered a special force. We are NOT having sex again without a condom- possibly ever!"

He kissed her because he didn't know what else to do. To be honest, from what he remembered about his childhood, she should be scared. She should be very, very scared. And good Lord, what about teenage Puck? Now that was a freakin' masterpiece, but two of that? It was a little scary…

Puck couldn't help but think that once again his dick had gotten him into trouble… more trouble than he could handle! What if his kids were more badass than him?

Then, with a giant shudder, he had the scariest thought of all. What if they had twin girls just like Rachel? How the hell would he handle Rachel Berry Puckerman in triplicate?


	2. Chapter 2

**Glee Disclaimer: It's all borrowed… not mine at all. But c'mon already: TEAM PUCKLEBERRY!**

**Mark Salling: Love, love, love to see you perform! I like to think that my adult Puck is more of a mix of the fictional Puck and you.**

**Thanks to my reviewers and favoriters and alerters! Who knew so many people would be interested in pregnant, hormonal Rachel? Special thanks to Kimmy77 who inspired me with the TWINS thing! **

The doctor confirmed that Rachel was 6 weeks pregnant. He strongly recommended cutting back at work. Rachel sniffled a little. He grew more stern.

"Mrs. Puckerman, by pushing yourself too much you are putting your babies and yourself at risk. This is not something you can just do. You have to be prepared for the consequences to your babies and yourself if you do not. Otherwise," here the doctor paused and lowered his voice a little, "you may need to reconsider this pregnancy. I know this was not planned. Maybe twins are too much for you right now."

That sobered her up completely.

"The twins aren't too much for me." She insisted quickly. "I'll cut back at work."

Puck squeezed her hand supportively. He knew how hard this was for her, but he was glad that she wasn't even considering NOT having the twins. Thank God.

The doctor went over her diet and the need for increased calories with twins and recommended reading books about twins and being pregnant. He assured them that the first trimester was a roller coaster ride and twins only intensified that with most women. He gave her a prescription for a different neonatal vitamin and recommended extra rest and iron in her diet. Then he told her to set up her next appointment and wished them well.

They picked up a late lunch on the way back home. They were both quiet and their thoughts were swimming. They'd gotten a lot of news quickly, and it was more than a little overwhelming.

After lunch, Rachel was still quiet. Puck pulled her to the couch and let her sit on his lap as he rubbed her hair.

"I guess I'm going to have to quit the show." She sighed.

Puck didn't say anything. His mind was doing flips. No more topless Rachel. Fuck yeah!

"I'm sorry you will have to quit. I know you like doing this show."

"If I tell you something, do you promise not to gloat?"

He just looked at her. If it was good, he was going to gloat.

She shook her head. "I guess I'll just take my chances. The scenes _were_ a little too intimate for me. I felt extremely uncomfortable performing them, and it was awful. I've never had anything bother me that I've been asked to perform, so that was humiliating. I guess I'm not the actress I thought I was."

"Maybe," he told her, kissing her lips gently in-between words, "you're just that much better of a wife than you thought you were!"

She beamed up at him. He smiled at her and kissed her again. This time he gently probed her lips with his tongue. She kissed him back deeply and ground against him a little. She started tugging at his shirt, and he threw it off his body quickly, tossing it across the room. Then he started in on hers. It joined his in a heap on the floor. The bra followed, and he was gently caressing her breasts. He squeezed her nipples gently. She arched into his hands and moaned softly. He kissed a path from her earlobe down to her nipple then crossed to the other breast and worked a path up to the opposite earlobe. He undid her skirt and pulled it off her body. He shoved the crotch of her panties to the side so he could put a finger in her. She was drenched. He wiggled his finger back and forth. He pushed hard against the spongy spot on the back of her clit. She cried out a little at that. He pushed again, and she made a sweet little noise in the back of her throat. He used his thumb to press on her clit too. She was thrashing back and forth in no time. He kept his finger inside her but moved his other hand up to her nipples. He tweaked them and flicked at them, but he lowered his tongue to work her clit. First he swirled forward then back. Then he worked it harder with his tongue, pushing on it and twirling it around more.

She came in crashing waves with a full intense cry of his name. He kept stroking into her with his finger, letting her come all the way down. First he tore her underwear off her and scrapped them to the floor. Then he removed his pants and underwear and quickly pulled her on top of him so he could thrust into her. She was still so incredibly tight. With her on top, he could continue to play with her tits. They were taut with desire and full in his hands. He stroked them and put his lips to one side of a breast to suck a little.

"Babe, you are so damn hot!" he told her as he moved to the other breast to suck some more.

She was stroking her body over his in a rhythmic pattern. She brought herself closer and pushed away. Closer. Away. She was barely recovered from her first orgasm when she felt the next one coming on.

"Noah, I… I… I'm gonna come again."

She did then, and he started coming into her too. Damn, she was an amazing woman.

When she caught her breath, she climbed off him and went to the bathroom to clean up. He followed her to clean up and bring her some clothes.

So they kept the rest of the day pretty low-key. She said she'd talk to the director on Wednesday and tell him that she would need to start using her understudy half the time and prepare the director to have the understudy take over as soon as possible. She knew he would not be pleased, but she didn't have much of a choice. They walked down to a Barnes and Noble so Rachel could pick up some pregnancy books and books on having twins.

Puck suggested they pick up something quick to make for dinner and that they should call their parents to let them know the news that was a change of plans.

"You know, people are gonna wonder when you start using the understudy and quit."

"I know. I still don't want to tell them yet. Let them wonder. Twins are a riskier pregnancy."

He didn't like to think about that possibility. He looked around the apartment.

"Maybe we should think about getting a bigger place."

"With what? I'm about to lose my job." She scowled.

He had forgotten about that.

"Rachel, I'm not worried about money. We can afford to live on my salary; we just might do things a little differently."

"Noah, we don't have a clue how expensive babies are. Let alone two of them. We're going to have two times the diapers, two times the daycare, two times everything…"

He could tell she was getting worked up and nervous again. He hated to see her that worried. It wasn't good for her or the babies.

"So what do you think we're having? One of each? Two boys? Two girls?"

She smiled.

"I'd love to have two girls. I always thought it would have been wonderful to have had a sister. Plus they would be so fun to take to dance lessons and dress in cute little skirts."

He thought about something Finn had said to him once, hoping he had a daughter someday that would date a guy like him.

"I want boys!" he said with a grin. "And they are NOT taking dance."

"Be reasonable," she started.

"Nope. They're playing football."

"Noah," she sighed. "What if they're interested in performing? With our musical background we could have a couple of very talented musicians. Dancing is a part of any performance. Wouldn't you want them to have that edge?"

"Nope," he answered. "I want badass little boys like their old man."

She smiled at him and said, "I guess we'll see."

He didn't like the way she said it. It was almost like a threat. She always seemed to get her way with him. That freakin' sucked balls. He was the man in this relationship, and he should get some say.

They returned to the apartment and made dinner. After dinner, she called her dads and he went into the extra bedroom to measure some things out. He needed a plan for his babies. They had to make this work. She cried a little on the phone, and he talked to her dads while she regained her composure.

"Congratulations, Son!"

"Thanks. It's more than a little overwhelming right now. We're just trying to figure some things out."

"Noah, are you worried about the money? We'd be more than happy to help out. We want nothing but the best for our grandbabies."

"No. No. We can take care of our babies. Don't worry about it."

Jesus. The last thing he wanted was her dads giving them money. Did they think he couldn't support his family?

"Noah, that wasn't what I meant. I know you can take care of your babies, but Rachel's not working will affect your financial stability. She's our only daughter. These may be our only grandkids ever. We want to do SOMETHING helpful. Please, let us help."

"Why don't you just start a college fund or something? We'll take care of the necessary stuff now, and you can help plan for their future."

He got off the phone as soon as he could saying he needed to talk to his mom yet. He called her, and she squealed with delight.

"Twins! It's more than a mother could hope for. Noah, Rachel needs to be especially careful with twins. I don't know if she should be performing right now. She has a tiny body, and she's in great shape, but this could be too much."

"Relax, Ma. She's already going to talk to the director."

"I'm so relieved. This is the BEST news. I can't wait! Can you tell Jenna now?"

"No, Mom. Not yet. Rachel's only 6 weeks along. She wants to wait a little longer."

"Let me talk to her."

He handed the phone to Rachel and went to watch some TV. He knew she'd be tied up with his ma for hours. She would be giving her every piece of advice she had and then some. Poor Rachel.

Interestingly enough, Rachel got off the phone in a great mood.

"Your mother is so funny. She's going to light a candle at St. Ann's for us."

"We're Jewish."

"She said she wants all religious bases covered. Her friend Margaret will say a rosary too."

"I'm still not convinced that she didn't put a hex on your pills or something. She's been excited about this since that first time we dated in high school."

Rachel smiled at him. "She also told me some sweet stories about you as a boy."

He glowered at her. "Fucking great."

"I think it's so sweet that you used to like to get your toenails painted."

"One time. One fucking time. I was like two."

She giggled.

"And you used to threaten her dates."

"They were assholes. I just told them to be respectful to my mother or I would kick their asses."

"Noah, you were ten. What did you think you were going to do?"

"I was a badass ten. Definitely a badass ten."

She smiled and kissed him. "Let's go to bed."

He smiled back. "Why? What's in it for me?"

"I might be able to find something in it for you…"

They went to bed and made tender love with wandering, caressing hands and slow, sweet kisses. His hands kept wandering to her belly and then back up to her breasts.

"You think they're gonna get bigger?"

"That's what I'm told. Mama Puckerman says they'll be so tender that I won't be able to stand having you touch them. She says it's the babies' way of staking their claim."

He growled. " 'S a little fucked up you talking to my mom about me touching your boobs."

"Yeah, but I guess our secret's out. We have sex, and soon, everyone will know it."

"And, babe, you admitted you don't like anyone else touching your boobs, just me!"

"I knew you'd gloat!"

That was so fucking hot, he started round 3. 'Cuz the whole world knowing she was his in every sense of the word was so fucking badass.


	3. Chapter 3

**Glee Disclaimer: Glee and its characters do not belong to me. (Sigh)**

**Mark Salling: Hope to see MORE (insert double entendre here) of you!**

**Thank you to those of you who have reviewed, alerted, and shared your opinions/wishes for the story. Although you won't change my mind (and I already know what they are), I'm wondering what you think the twins will be? Boys, girls, one of each?**

The next few weeks flew for Puck and Rachel. She had cut back at work considerably. She was not doing any matinee shows, but she was not willing to give up her night shows yet. She took naps in the afternoon so she wasn't too tired, and she gave up the Tuesday and Wednesday night shows. She felt like performing Thursday-Sunday nights were enough for her right now. She was still tired, but she knew she wouldn't be able to do the show at all much longer so she didn't want to give up too much too soon. The director had been disappointed but more than willing to be flexible. The doctor pushed her to quit the show altogether by 14 weeks, and she agreed as she might even be showing anyway. (Her body was too tiny to carry twins and maintain an actress's tiny figure forever!)

She was now almost 12 weeks along. Things were going well, but she was looking forward to crossing that 12 week mark. She knew her sickness was likely to get better after 12 weeks, and she could start telling everyone what was wrong. As it was, there were rumors all over the set about her. She had heard everything from cancer to marital discord. It was very upsetting, but she just said that she was battling some health issues, which was true.

Her friends were worried, but Puck pushed them off with jokes about her having to be around more to meet his needs. His boss knew the truth because he had adjusted his work schedule to work more evenings. Everyone else, including Becky and Mike, was kept in the dark. And, he wasn't exactly lying when he said that he and Rachel were like bunnies right now. Her hormones had her constantly in heat, and he was not about to turn his girl down. He had taken her twice last night, and she woke up with roaming hands this morning. Pregnant Rachel was even hornier than regular Rachel.

Puck had taken to getting up early to go for a run and then making Rachel a nice breakfast when he got home. She was hungry a lot. The doctor had told her to eat small meals frequently and to increase her protein. She had done both with gusto. Most nights she slept for at least 9-10 hours, but she still managed to need a nap sometimes.

Every now and then, she caught him kind of staring at her belly with a sad look in his eye. She knew he was thinking about Beth, and it broke her heart a little. She didn't know if that was why he wanted boys or not.

"Do you want boys because of Beth?" she asked quietly after catching him again.

"No, that's not it. I'm sorry, Rachel. I don't mean to bring down your happiness about these babies. I'm not comparing them. I swear I'm not. I'm just remembering. It's different."

"I know, Noah. It would be okay if you were. I know these aren't your first babies. Beth will always be your first child."

"No, it's not like that. It's different. Don't get me wrong, I love Beth and all. Even though it was hard for me at the time, I know what we did was best for Beth. There's no way we could have been good parents in high school. Being a good parent means putting the kid first, right? It was selfish of me to want to keep her. I just didn't want to be like my dad, Rach. I promise I won't be like him at all."

"I know that, Noah. You're nothing like your father."

He kissed her and pulled her to him for a tight embrace.

"What time's your appointment?"

"Ten o'clock. Are you coming with me?"

"Babe, if it's okay with you, I'm going to everything. I love watching these babies grow and hearing their little heart beats. It's amazing!"

She smiled at him. Her husband was pretty amazing. She knew she was lucky to have a guy like Noah. He never blew up at her even though she'd been very emotional this pregnancy and cried over everything.

At the appointment they got to hear the babies' heartbeats again. It was amazing. The doctor called them Baby A and Baby B, but Noah called them Thing One and Thing Two. Rachel was surprised that he knew his Seuss so well, but he reminded her that he had been the babysitter to Jenna and she needed a lot of bedtime stories. He had put the Kibosh on princess stories, so that left them with… Seuss.

The doctor talked to Rachel about her work schedule, but he admitted that she had made some good compromises.

"If I find something less strenuous, it would be okay, right, Dr.?"

"Yes, work is okay, but your performances are more grueling than most jobs. Of course, you'll have to listen to your body with everything you do. When it tells you it's tired, listen. You should find an increase in energy this next trimester though. We'll also start scheduling monthly ultrasounds so we can monitor the babies' progress better."

Puck was excited about the ultrasounds.

"When can we find out what they are?"

"You may be able to tell as early as 16 weeks, but it's likely to be most accurate at 20 weeks."

"You want in the pool I'm starting, Doc? I think they're boys. Rachel's in for girls. My ma says girls. Her dads both want one of each."

The doctor chuckled at Noah, and said he tried not to make bets about the babies he delivered.

"Why do you want boys?"

" 'Cuz I don't want my baby girls to be dating a guy like me someday!"

The doctor laughed and said most dads would be thrilled to have their little girls dating a nice, responsible guy like him. He and Rachel looked at each other and said in practical unison, "You didn't know him in high school!"

Rachel had invited their closest friends over that night so they could share their exciting news. Their friends weren't exactly surprised until she announced it was twins. Everyone was toasting with champagne and milk for Rachel.

Later, Mike and Puck were hanging out playing a little Halo.

"Bro!" Mike fist bumped him. "Congrats, Daddio!"

"Dude. Don't ever say that shit again!"

"And you've been pretending like Rachel was cutting back on her shows just so you could boff her more."

Puck took a long pull on his beer and announced, " 'S the fucking truth bro. Pregnancy hormones have made her freakin' hornier than hell. She's practically wearing ME out!"

He smiled. Chang's mouth dropped open.

"Puck, you have all the fucking luck! Nobody ever mentioned this shit before? Why don't they let this shit get out? More guys would be into being dads sooner!"

A week later, Rachel quit the show completely and they headed to Lima for the weekend to tell Jenna and announce the news to their extended family and friends from Lima. Her dads had planned a party which many of their old friends could attend. Their news there was greeted with excited applause.

Finn had been unable to attend the party but had called to offer his congratulations. He also asked for his money to go on girls in the pool. Puck scowled. Finn laughed over the phone, knowing Puck was scowling.

Mr. Schue talked to Rachel about other opportunities for her now that performing was difficult or impossible. She appreciated his suggestions and considered that she had not really ever looked at teaching children's theater or giving voice lessons before. She was certain she could get one of the directors she'd worked with to give her a good reference for something like that. Plus, those types of jobs were almost always part-time, which might be best for the next few years.

Later, when they went to bed that night, Rachel couldn't stop talking about her conversation with Mr. Schue.

"I just never even thought about it. It's a whole new world of opportunity. I never even thought about it. This could be perfect for us you know."

"Babe, I just want you to be happy. You can try it, but if you don't like it, I don't want you to stick with it just because it might be convenient."

"Oh, Noah. You're such a good husband!"

She kissed him, and he pulled into his shoulder tightly.

"Rachel, I gotta say, being back in your bedroom for the first time since we were 18 is making me want to relive some old memories."

"This is where I lost my virginity to you."

"Yeah, and feel this. I'm just as hard for you now."

She kissed him as she reached her hand down to stroke him. He was naked, not wearing anything to bed tonight. He kissed her neck and pushed her back against the bed. While she stroked him, he continued to kiss her lips, running his tongue along hers tenderly and increasing the pace to keep up with her hand. Then he reached over to stop her hand and put himself between her legs. She wrapped her legs around him at the waist, but he wasn't ready to start yet.

"Impatient much?" he whispered.

"Noah, now. I'm ready."

"There's ready, and there's ready."

He kissed her from her collarbone down to her breasts. He twirled his thumbs around her nipples and gently nipped them. They had gotten even bigger, and she completely looked like she'd had a boob job. It changed her whole appearance, making her look voluptuous and hot.

Then he kissed his way down to her hipbones and along her hip to the tops of her thighs to between her legs where he avoided her most tempting areas.

"Noah… please."

She bent her leg up higher on him to emphasize what she wanted.

"Please what?" he asked mockingly. Even after all this time, she usually couldn't say it.

"Please, Noah. Please."

He chuckled. "This?"

He licked up her slit and she cried out. He went back to kissing around her most tempting areas.

"Noah. Please…"

"This?"

He thrust a finger inside her and rounded it with big circles.

"Noah, please…"

"This?"

Noah took her clit in his mouth and sucked gently making her squirm and pant until he stopped again.

"Dammit, Noah!" she shouted.

He chuckled again. "Rachel, your dads will hear."

"Then do it. Now."

"Do what?" he asked, continuing to tease her.

He used his thumb to press on her clit. She ran her legs up and down on the bed and grabbed his face and brought it to her core.

"Please use your tongue on me. Make me come. Drive me wild and then fuck me senseless like only you can do."

"Oh, that… I can do that."

He proceeded to do just that until she was screaming his name so loudly he was SURE her dads had heard.


	4. Chapter 4

**Glee Disclaimer: Ryan Murphy is the genius behind Glee. I'm too smutty for primetime.**

**Mark Salling: I've never found a Mohawk even MILDLY attractive until you came around. Whoa, baby!**

**THANK YOU to those of you who have shared your thoughts with me via a review. I appreciate it so much! I'm also having fun hearing what you think the babies should be- although I repeat, "I already know what they are, and I'm not changing my mind." But feel free to advocate for your position. Thanks to those of you who have alerted and favorite too. I find it HIGHLY flattering when I find out I'm listed under someone's favorite authors list! Woo-hoo! It's hard to believe I've only been doing this about 2 months!**

The next month flew by for Puck and Rachel. Rachel had started teaching some children's classes and even had performed in a few short performances for one of the children's theaters. She loved it, and it allowed her to nurture others and her own creativity as well. Puck was shocked that she liked it. He never thought she would, and he was a little relieved as well, as he wasn't sure how she would handle her performances and the twins when they were born. He didn't push her not to go back to performing, but it was good to know she had something in her pocket in case.

Puck and Rachel were getting ready to go to their next doctor appointment. They were going to get an ultrasound today too, but they were told they probably wouldn't be able to tell the sex of the babies yet. That was okay with him. Rachel's belly had rounded a little, and she was wearing more of his clothes than hers, but she wasn't quite into maternity clothes yet. She had bought a few things, and his mom and her dads had all sent special gifts of maternity clothes for her.

The doctor's appointment went smoothly but they were unable to see anything of importance on the ultrasound. At lunch, Puck shared his theory that they were having girls because, let's face it, if they were boys, he would probably be able to see their junk. He was the dad after all.

Rachel laughed.

"What?"

"Sometimes, Noah, you can be so egotistical!"

"I'm just sayin' that it makes sense if these were boys we would probably have seen the goods."

She laughed. This was the trimester she was enjoying more. The sickness wasn't as bad, and her hormones weren't running QUITE so wild. They were probably pretty normal, for her. The doctor said that her horniness would edge out too, but it seemed pretty normal to Puck. She wasn't jumping him four times a day any more, but it was at least once or twice. Puck had nothing to complain about.

They were waiting to buy the furniture and decorate the nursery until they knew what the babies were. Their parents were still pushing them to look for a bigger place, but Rachel was too worried about the finances to want to move yet. He tried to convince her to think about it, but he figured that nothing short of a rat infestation would get her to move at this point.

"So tomorrow in class we'll be doing Snow White. I get to be Snow White, and they'll all be dwarfs. The other teacher will be the evil queen." She continued to babble, and he didn't really listen, but he held her hand as they walked home.

"Rachel Puckerman, let me tell you how much I love you. Better yet, let me show you."

They went straight to the bedroom to make love. When they were done, they cuddled in bed for hours talking about their family and what they wanted to do with the kids.

"Do you plan on living in Chicago forever, Noah?"

He startled. "I never really thought about it, Rach. I don't care where I live. I moved here for you."

She smiled at him.

"I love Chicago, but I worry about being so far from our families when we have the babies. The city is so vibrant and fun, but the babies may need something else, like grandparents. If we were closer, they could certainly help a lot more."

"Did you talk to my mom today?"

That woman was a freaking evil genius! Damn her! How did she get everyone to fall into her evil plan? He still wasn't sure she wasn't somehow behind the whole pregnancy, and she even managed to speed up the number of grandkids. She was scary.

"Actually, I did, but I've been thinking about this too."

"Rachel, I don't want to rush into anything right now. We're not even committing to a bigger apartment right now. I don't want to move out of a city we love just because your hormones are going wacko."

SHIT! As soon as he said it, he knew it was a mistake.

"Is that what you think? I'm a wacko?"

"That's not what I meant. I just meant that your hormones can make you see things differently, and I want you to have your head on straight before making any big changes. I love you, and if you want to move closer to our parents, I am happy to do that. Rachel, I will do anything for you and our babies. You know that. I can get a job anywhere, but we do have a life here. We have friends. We have jobs we enjoy…"

She sniffled a little and he saw that her eyes had welled with tears.

"Baby, we can think about it if you want. I'm not saying no."

She just started wailing. He held her until her sobs were under control.

"I miss my dads. They should be here for this. They should be here every day of this pregnancy. These two kids could be their only grandkids EVER, and they're missing all the day-to-day stuff."

"Rachel, you have a blog about everything that's going on. We're not keeping secrets. This is the information age. Everybody knows everything. I don't think we're leaving them out."

"It's not the same!"

Puck sighed. He loved this diva, but … what the fuck?

"Do you want to invite your dads to come for the weekend?"

She smiled at him. "That's a great idea."

He just looked at her. She knew what would happen. She'd refuse to have sex because their tiny apartment was not the least bit soundproof. He'd be horny as hell all weekend. They'd try to give him money for the babies again and look around disapprovingly even though RACHEL was the one who insisted they not move. He was not looking forward to it.

That's pretty much what happened too. They had a great weekend with her dads for Rachel. She was happy. They bought her a complete new maternity wardrobe. Did you know that you need different shoes when you're pregnant? They bought her special robes and nightgowns to wear in the hospital, slippers too. He reminded them all that they had another 5 months. They scoffed at him. Puck had blue balls all weekend because even though she didn't want to fool around, she smashed her tight little ass up in his junk or threw a leg over his waist in her sleep. And he was expected to just sleep.

Her dads left Sunday night, but Rachel was exhausted from their shopping and fun weekend activities so she had fallen asleep early. Puck woke up early and since he didn't want to wake his pregnant wife up early to bang her, he went for a run to get rid of some steam.

She knew something was wrong when she woke up, and he wasn't there. The note said he had gone for a run, but it was late for him. Very late. She tried calling his cell, but she didn't get an answer.

She was uneasy and her stomach was a jumble of nerves. She paced the apartment frantically. The minutes on the clock ticked by until she finally got a phone call marked "Private".

"Mrs. Puckerman?"

"Yes."

"This is Grace at Chicago Memorial Hospital. Mrs. Puckerman, we have a Noah Puckerman in our ER. The police brought him in about an hour ago."

"Oh my GOD!" she screamed. "What happened?"

"It looks like he was attacked. Can you come down here?"

Rachel kept her calm even though her insides were roiling.

"I'm on my way. How is he?"

"He's stable but unconscious."

**AN: I know I don't do angst, but they couldn't be all happiness, right? Also, this is my first chapter with just implied smut- nothing juicy. So basically, the whole chapter is OOC for the AUTHOR!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Glee Disclaimer: Ryan Murphy is the fabulousness behind Glee, not me.**

**Mark Salling: His character is one good-looking Jew! MISSED him on last night's episode. Glee is no fun when Puck is in juvey!**

**AN: Thanks to my reviewers for not beating up on me over the ending to the last chapter! I was so worried… and I appreciate your trust. I did NOT intentionally wait a day to update. I was tired and too busy. I swear!**

**Seriously, I thought more people would weigh in on what the babies were. I guess I shouldn't have told you that I already knew! **

Rachel flew to the desk in the emergency room.

"Noah Puckerman."

She was led to a room in the ER. He hadn't been moved to a room yet. She didn't know if that was good or bad.

A doctor met her outside the door to his room. She couldn't see him, and she didn't want to wait to see him. A police officer turned the corner toward them.

The doctor told her that he sustained serious injuries including bruised ribs, a severely sprained ankle, cuts and bruises all over his face and arms. He had a concussion and had been knocked unconscious, but he had since regained consciousness and asked for her.

"We want to keep him at least overnight, and maybe longer for observation with that concussion and loss of consciousness. Right now we're making sure he has plenty of oxygen, and we're rehydrating him with fluids."

She nodded at that.

"Any idea how this happened doctor?" she inquired.

He nodded toward the police officer approaching them. "I think I'll let him talk to you about that."

"Mrs. Puckerman?" he looked toward her for confirmation.

The police officer introduced himself and explained that it looked like Puck had been randomly attacked while running in the park. He was pretty sure the teenagers were part of a gang who had vandalized some nearby businesses as well. It was assumed that Puck had been attacked and left unconscious to be found later by a woman walking her dog.

She finally got in to see Noah. She cried out at the sight of him. The sight of those tubes and the bruised, cut face was too much for her. He had little patches of stitches on his neck and above his eye. There were more stitches on his arms. She reached for his hand and stroked it. His eyelids fluttered open.

"Babe," he muttered.

"Noah," she cried, too high, too broken.

"Still a badass."

She laughed. "Of course you are, Noah."

She kissed his lips then. She had to.

"Noah, just rest. You don't have to talk."

"Don't worry my babies."

"I won't."

When he shut his eyes again, she stepped out of the room and down the hallway to call his mother and sister. His mother had a lot of questions she couldn't answer yet, so she told her she'd call her back. His mom finally just told her she'd come. She had to.

Rachel stayed with Noah all day although he slept through most of it. He insisted she go home after dinner, telling her it wasn't good for the babies, and she needed some rest. In truth, she was exhausted, and she felt better about how he was doing now. He had talked off and on, complaining that there were at least four of them or he could have taken them.

She went home, and had barely fallen asleep when his mom showed up at the apartment. She let her in, gave her the prognosis, and settled her into the guest room for the night. Mama Puckerman was worried about Rachel too.

"Look, you get your rest. Twins are not an easy pregnancy. Don't overdo it."

She was grateful that Mama Puckerman didn't need her to entertain her. She wasn't up to it tonight. Elise pulled her into her arms and hugged her tightly.

"It's okay, Rachel. You don't have to be strong anymore."

"I was so scared. It was just some random attack. This could happen again. It was awful. I knew something was wrong. I just knew it!" With that, Rachel broke into full, deep sobs. Elise just held her as she cried.

"There are no guarantees, Rachel, but what are you thinking?"

"I just told Noah that I wanted to move closer to Lima. He wants to wait because he doesn't want to make any life-changing moves while I'm pregnant and hormonal, but I want to move back home so we can have help with the babies."

Elise smiled at her.

"Jenna and I would love to help with the babies, and I know your dads would too. Did you call them?"

"I did call them. They offered to come and help, but I told them you were coming. They know I've been missing home. They came last weekend because Noah told me I was just homesick, but it made me want to move more. I miss them. I guess it was different when I was performing, but now… now I just want to do what's best for my babies, and I think being with our families is best."

Elise nodded her head in agreement.

"You know how to get Noah to agree with you?"

Rachel shook her head.

"I've tried. He doesn't get it."

Elise smiled.

"Then you'll have to convince him that it's better for him if you move back to Lima."

"But, how? He knows I want to go."

"You're not going to hide that from him, Rachel. BUT, you're going to use his weaknesses to convince him that he will get what he wants if you get what you want, and then…he'll think it's his idea."

"Are you suggesting I withhold sex?"

"No, not at all. BUT, go to sleep tonight and think about it. In what ways would Noah's life be easier if you were in Lima? How would it be better for him?"

Rachel went to bed and thought about it. Maybe…

The next morning Rachel and Elise went straight to the hospital. Elise knew all the right questions to ask the doctors and nurses. She got a more thorough prognosis and somehow wheedled the nurses into finding them an extra comfortable chair for the room. She and Rachel entertained Noah when he was awake and each other when he was not.

Two days later Noah was cleared for release, and Elise and Rachel got him home. Elise planned to go back home that night as she wanted to save her sick days to come see the babies when they were born. They got Puck settled on the couch. He had some vicodin for the pain and was settled where he could play video games and watch TV.

After his mom left, Rachel sat with him to just touch him and kiss him some more.

"Don't worry my babies," he reminded her as he rubbed her little baby bump.

She smiled at him, but her eyes welled up with tears.

"I was so scared, Noah. I've always felt safe here, in this city, and now that we're bringing babies into this world something like this happens. I worry about them, Noah. I just hope this city isn't a mistake."

"Babe, I think you're overreacting just a little. It was one thing. I'm okay. We love this city. We're safe here. I was out by myself too early in the morning. It was completely different."

She just looked at him and bit her lip. She kissed him and watched TV with him with one hand on his leg. He was shirtless and sprawled on the couch. His ribs were still sore, and he was on crutches. Some of his bruises were already yellowing at the edges. Others were still nasty looking.

When he fell asleep, she watched him for a while. Even in his sleep the man could still make her drool. His naked torso made her pulse race, and it had been a few days since they'd had any action with her fathers' visit prior to the attack. She always thought their active sex life was due to his libido, but maybe she was a piece of this. She squirmed a little on the couch. His long lashes rested against his cheeks as he breathed in and out in deep slumber. She stared at his taut nipples and refrained from reaching out to tug at his chest.

She was getting frustrated. She knew he'd be in no condition to make love any time soon, and for the first time since Noah moved in with her, she wished he hadn't gotten rid of her toy. She smiled as she thought of her old vibrator. Phil was a pseudonym for "fulfill" because she'd needed it when her boyfriends couldn't fulfill her needs. She had thought that there was something wrong with her because she couldn't seem to have an orgasm with the men she'd dated. Now she knew that it was them that had had the problem. She certainly never had any problems with Noah. In fact, he usually made sure she was satisfied a few times.

The more she thought about Noah, the more restless she became. She had needs, and she was uncomfortable now. Her whole body was tense. Damn it. She would never fall asleep like this. She looked at him again and figured he'd sleep out here tonight rather than take the chance of getting jostled by her all night. She slid off the couch and headed to her bed.

When she took off her clothes and got into bed with just a t-shirt on, she took some time to rub her own nipples under her shirt. She pretended it was Noah's hands roaming her body. She wanted his touch, craved more. Then she let her hands wander to the tender spot between her legs. The last time they'd been together, he'd started in on her clit with slow, teasing circles, and she duplicated them herself. Then she used a finger to enter her, but it wasn't enough, and she couldn't get a good angle. She returned her hand to her clit and traced it delicately. Then she increased her tempo to a quick, furious pace and when she was almost there, she used her whole hand to cup herself, placing a gentle pressure on her clitoris and grinding her body down hard. When she went over the edge, she cried out his name and took big, gasping breaths of air.

"Damn, at least you used my name for this little show I wasn't invited to."

She looked up at Noah, lounging against the doorframe of the bedroom, watching her. She flushed red and looked up at him guiltily.

"Noah, I… I…" she looked down and covered herself up, embarrassed at being caught.

"I know what it was Rachel. It was hot as hell. I just wish I had been here for the whole thing."

"Noah, I know you're too hurt to… perform sexual relations, and I just… I'd been watching you all day without your shirt on, and it's been so long… and…"

"Babe, I'm fucking hurt, not dead! You should have invited me. Trust me, there's a lot I can do for you. Let me show you."

"No, Noah. You can't do this. You're too hurt, and you're on pain pills, and you're…"

"Babe, look at me. You can't leave me like this. It's been too long." He motioned to the tent in his boxer shorts. "Fuck, babe. Please."

She looked at his crotch and bit her lip. "Noah, I don't think we should."

He made his way to the bed with the help of his crutches.

"My tongue's not broke, baby. Let me see what we can do for you. Let's just start things up and see how it goes. We'll stop if it's too much."

He was already reaching between her legs. She knew it wasn't a good idea, but just then he put his fingers inside her and groaned.

"Damn, girl. You're soaked. That wasn't enough for you. I know it wasn't. You need more."

She could feel herself gushing at his words. She bit her lip again.

"Alright, but PLEASE stop if it hurts at all."

"Babe, I just took another vicodin. I'm not feeling any pain for another 6 hours."

He started to bend toward her, but she stopped him.

"I don't think you can lean like that. It's too much pressure on your ribs."

He looked at her and grinned. Then he lied down on the bed, and motioned to his face.

"Climb on, Rach. It's time for a ride on the Puckerman Express."

She looked at him doubtfully.

"Babe, I know you want my tongue. Don't try to deny it. You just bring yourself up here so I can get to you. You will be in control. You'll love it."

She put her knees on either side of his ears and lowered herself down to him. This was exhilarating! He lapped at her slit with long, wide swipes of his tongue. He brought his fingers up to scissor inside her as he used his tongue to flick at her clit. When she wanted more clit action, she climbed up to her feet and aimed her clit at his tongue. He increased the pressure of his tongue, and then he felt her reach behind her to grab his shaft. She ran her hands up and down his length as he worked her with his mouth.

"Are you doing okay, Noah? Does it hurt?"

"Just my pride that you can still talk, babe. It only hurts my pride."

She climbed off him and as he gave her a "What the fuck?" look, she put her mouth on his cock and took him deeply into her mouth. She stroked up and down with her tongue, and he grabbed at her thigh and urged her back to his mouth. She moved her lower body back over his mouth as she continued to stroke him in and out.

"Noah. Noah. Noah."

She chanted his name and continued to suck him in and out of her mouth as she came on his face.

"Babe, get on. I want to be inside you."

"Noah, no. I'll finish you this way."

"Rachel, I know you want more than that. Climb on, or I will. Your choice."

She looked at him, and made her way to his dick, climbing on and facing away from him. She knew his ribs were sore, but she would be too tempted to run her hands over his chest and arms if she were near them. She could easily run her hands up and down his legs without hurting him. She took him out and back in slowly, out and back in again.

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" he said, sucking in his breath.

"Does that hurt?" she asked over her shoulder.

"Not a bit," he lied.

She rode him slowly at first and then faster when she saw his balls tighten.

"Rach, come with me. I can't reach. You know what to do."

She reached down and put her finger where his usually was. She pressed on her clit and rode him hard until they both came together with crashing waves. Then she climbed off him and put herself next to him for a kiss before getting some washcloths to clean up.

"Damn. That was so worth getting beat up for."

She smacked him in the shoulder and was immediately sorry when she saw him wince.

"Rachel, now I KNOW I'm a stud because even when you're not with me you fantasize about me."

"You're a stud alright, Noah. Now get some sleep. I just hope we didn't do too much damage."

"You're right, Rachel. I'm awfully sore."

She looked up at him, alarmed.

"You are?"

"Yeah, I can barely move. I guess I'm gonna need a sponge bath."


	6. Chapter 6

**Glee Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Ryan Murphy. He's brilliant but not as insightful as we Puckleberry fans! Hopefully he can figure it out soon.**

**A/N: I miss PUCK! Hopefully season 2 is just off to a slow start, and we'll see tons more of the shirtless wonder that is Mark Salling SOOOOOOOON!**

**Thanks to the readers, reviewers, alerters, and favoriters! I am so overwhelmed with the response to my stories, and I appreciate it so much! It's hard to believe that I've been doing this such a short time… thank you for reading! (I especially appreciate reviews and favorites. Some of the reviewers feel like friends now as we chat every few days or so… you know who you are- I hope!)**

Two weeks later Puck was feeling much better. He woke up to feel his wife's sweet ass smashed up against his junk. He rubbed her swollen belly and greeted the babies.

"G'morning, guys!" He kissed her belly and rubbed gently.

"They're girls, Noah. I definitely feel that they're girls. Everyone says the mom knows."

"Rachel, I could give a shit if they're boys or girls, but seriously, do you think that or do you want that?"

"I wouldn't mind one of each."

" 'S all good to me. Babe, I'm just so freakin' excited to be a dad I don't effing care."

She kissed him and leaned back up against him. They had another appointment in a few days. They would get another ultrasound and find out what the babies were. Rachel was giddy with anticipation. She really liked the idea of knowing what the babies were. She wanted to plan their bedroom and their wardrobe.

Noah started kissing her neck, which completely distracted her.

"Mmmmm…" she said, distractedly.

Noah reached around to caress her full breasts. They were heavy and huge compared to the girl he'd dated. The nipples responded pertly to his attention. He twirled his thumbs over them and tweaked them lightly. He continued to kiss her neck and breathe sweetly in her ear.

"You in a hurry this morning?"

"Nope, all later classes."

"Good. 'Cuz I got plans for you, babe. BIG plans."

She giggled at his double entendre.

She reached behind her to feel his big plans and stroked him with her hand. She twirled around to climb down over him and took him in her mouth. She sucked hard on the tip and then took his cock all the way into her mouth, letting it hit the back of her throat. Then she cupped his boys and gently stroked them. She alternated between strong sucking and running her tongue up and down him.

She released him from her mouth and smiled up at him from her crouch.

"Noah, honey, I'd love to keep going, but I have plans for this."

She reached down and fisted his dick, running her hand up and down his length. It bobbed a little in response, and she ran a finger along the tip again.

Noah pushed her back on the bed and put his mouth on the tender nubbin between her legs. He used his tongue to bring her to her climax, and when she was completely recovered, he put his fingers inside her. She arched off the mattress, and he flexed the fingers more.

" 'S right, babe. Now you're ready for my big plans."

He slid up along her body but didn't put himself in her yet. He kissed her and played with her tits a little longer until she was begging for it. He pushed her onto her stomach and got her up on her knees and elbows so he could get her from behind. He went in deep and felt her tighten around him quickly.

"Not yet, babe. That's what the first one was for, to take the edge off."

He stroked in and out slowly, but she kept trying to push back faster. He held her hips tightly and pistoned in and out with a little twist at the end. When they finally collapsed into a sweaty heap on the bed, he kissed her neck again and noticed a little purple mark where he had been earlier. Shit. She was going to be pissed about that.

"Noah," Rachel said, "I'm going to miss this kind of spontaneity when the babies are born."

"What? They'll sleep most of the day. What are you talking about?"

"Noah, sometimes I think you're completely unprepared for taking care of twins. We haven't even started looking for daycare yet. We don't have any family to help us here. It will be just one of us all the time. When our families are here to help, they'll be staying with us so we won't be able to take advantage of our "alone" time. Things are going to change."

Noah didn't say anything, but he sure thought about it. Later that day at work, he asked one of the older ladies about how she handled the whole working/kids thing.

"I couldn't do it without my mother. I'd be lost without her."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. She helps us out all the time, and let's us go out for date nights about once a month. Bill's family is all out East so we're so lucky to have my mom around. I think we'd have been divorced after the first one if it weren't for my mom."

Noah brought Rachel flowers that night and told her they should probably think about looking for daycare for the twins.

"Okay, first we need to figure out how many hours we'll actually require for daycare. Then we need to decide if we want to use a center, private daycare, or someone to come to the house."

"What do you want?"

She went into Rachel Berry mode and listed the pros and cons of each type of daycare. He tuned out quickly and finally asked her what she wanted. Her eyes welled with tears, and she said she didn't know. She didn't know what was best.

"Let's just wait on that decision, babe. We'll check out lots of places and choose the right one."

Later that night they met Mike and Anne at one of their favorite bars. Rachel was seated in a high booth with Puck on the outside and their friends seated across the table.

"PUCK!" announced a woman in a high-pitched squeal.

Rachel turned toward the woman who had thrown her arms around Puck's neck and was leaning in toward him as he tried to extricate himself.

"Puck, I can't believe you're here. I mean, I wondered if I'd ever see you again after OSU. Here we are, both in Chicago. I just can't wait to get together."

"Noah, introduce us to your friend," said Rachel, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Tammy, this is my wife, Rachel."

"Your wife?" Tammy's eyes flew to Rachel and swept her up and down, assessing her narrowly. When they settled on Rachel's pregnant belly, Tammy nodded, as if that explained everything.

She leaned so that her breasts were on Puck's arm and said, "Puck and I are… 'old friends' from college. We were… very close." Her eyes flashed at Rachel.

"Puck, you should call me when you're ready for a night out with an old friend. I work here now, so if you come in, we'll be seeing a lot of each other."

"Whatever, Tammy. Rachel and I are going to be busy, so it's not going to happen."

She smiled seductively, "All boys need some play time, Puck, especially you." Then the bitch ran her fingers up Puck's arm and walked away swaying her hips.

"Fucking bitch!" said Rachel.

"You got that right," agreed Anne.

Mike and Puck didn't say a word. They were afraid to say anything about it at all and preferred to just keep the conversation neutral. Unfortunately, it had put a damper on the evening, and they called it a night early. Puck was grateful because he had felt Rachel's eyes watching him all night, and he was afraid he would accidentally catch sight of Tammy peripherally and Rachel would think he was watching her. He also needed to use the bathroom, but he knew Tammy well enough to know she would try to catch him on the way in or out, if she could.

When they said goodbye to the other couple, Mike shot Puck a sympathetic look. He knew it wouldn't be a good night. Everyone knew it.

On the short walk home, Puck kept it neutral. He didn't acknowledge Tammy or the episode. He commented on the music of some street musicians, and they talked about the warm weather coming up in the city. They planned to go to Lima for a long weekend. Summer was no time to be in the city. They both had Monday off so it would be an extra day with their families.

Rachel said nothing about it until he climbed into bed next to her and pulled her into his arms.

"An old friend?"

"Kind of, Rach. You know how it is."

"That bar is ruined for me now. With that trampy girl eye fucking you and making it clear she doesn't think I'm good enough for you, I can't go back there."

"I know," he sighed. "I liked that bar too. Damn it."

"Noah, why were you such a man-whore?"

"Babe, I'm the kind of guy who had to check it all out to know what was good, what was right. If I hadn't checked out all the other girls, I wouldn't have known what and who I wanted. Now, I never wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. I KNOW it doesn't get any better than this. You're it, girl. You're my everything."

"She's still a fucking tramp."

"Babe, if you're in the mood to use dirty words, don't waste 'em talking about anything but the epic things you want me to do to you. Tell me how you want it, babe. I'm there. You drop the f-bomb and I'm putty in your hands."

He grabbed her hands and brought them to his erection.

"Noah, you're incorrigible. Stop. We already had sex this morning."

"Yeah, but now you want me to fuck you. Admit it."

He kissed her neck again, and reached between her legs. It took a little while, but she did bring out the f-bomb again. And again. And again.

Two days later they went to the doctor for a check-up and an ultrasound. Rachel was showing some signs of water retention, which had the doctor worried. He thought it was too early for that and encouraged her to stay off her feet more.

When they went in for the ultrasound, the tech was very friendly and chatty as she measured the various parts of Baby A and Baby B. She explained how the babies could be identical, but they wouldn't know that for sure until they tested after birth.

She looked at Puck. "If they are a boy and a girl, we don't do testing because we know they're not identical."

"I'm not a moron. I know a boy and girl can't be identical twins."

When the ultrasound tech stopped over Baby A, she pointed out the sex and asked the parents if they could tell what it was.

"Doesn't look like anything to me. Must be a girl." Puck said.

"I think that's a penis, Noah."

"Nah. 'S too small. Gotta be a thumb or something."

The technician tried to contain her laughter and said, "That's pretty definitely a penis, although it will grow bigger."

"Fuck yeah, it will!" shouted Puck. "It's a BOY. Thing One is a BOY!"

"Shhhhh! Don't use profanity in the office, Noah. It's inappropriate."

"Show us Thing Two."

"He means Baby B." said Rachel, smiling apologetically.

The technician was turning red; she was trying so hard not to laugh.

"This is Baby B." she announced.

" 'S the same wanger!" Noah shouted triumphantly.

"Shhh! Noah, the rest of the office doesn't care about his little penis."

"Woman, have you learned nothing? Never say 'little' and 'penis' in the same sentence!"

"We're having boys!" He smiled at his wife, watching her go white.

"We're having boys," she agreed, paling by the second.

The technician noticed too.

"Let me get you some water, Mrs. Puckerman. Sometimes twins can be… overwhelming."

"I'm having your little badass boys." She looked at Puck with pure terror. "I don't know if I can handle it. I seriously don't. I mean I thought I could do anything, but maybe this is too much. Do you remember your childhood? Your mother has told me some things. And I was there for the teenage stuff… and I don't want our boys to do HALF the stuff you did, and if they knock up some cheerio or …"

"Rachel, we have time. You'll change them. Look what you've done for me. Plus, you have to remember I didn't have a dad, and my mom was overwhelmed all the time. I will BE THERE for our boys. They won't grow up like I did. 'Course they'll still be badasses, but not in the juvenile delinquent way."

The technician returned with water for Rachel. She drank every drop.

**AN: I was surprised I didn't get more responses about the twins. I expected to hear from more of you, AND most of you wanted girls. I thought for sure people would want one of each. I felt it would be nice for Noah to have boys to separate the whole BETH issues...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Glee Disclaimer: Characters belong to the writers of "Glee"/Ryan Murphy.**

**Mark Salling: I miss you like crazy. Hope these few weeks of torture are worth it later when you're epic in the rest of the shows!**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you to the readers who have reviewed, favorite, and alerted. You make me so HAPPY when I know how much you're enjoying my work. I REALLY appreciate reviews, so if you haven't yet… please do.**

That weekend they drove to Lima in Puck's car. They were going to car shop while they were there because they both agreed they needed something bigger. Rachel wanted a minivan, but Puck absolutely refused. Rachel still seemed to be in a fog about the twins being boys. Puck figured she just needed more time to get used to the idea. He wasn't THAT bad. She'd get over it.

Just to be safe, they were staying at her dads' house. He did not want his mom and Jenna to share more stories she may not have heard. She was stressed enough.

Friday night Rachel's dads were having a get-together. They wanted Rachel and Puck to attend, but they knew they would probably want to leave early and go meet their friends. Rachel was actually pretty tired, so Puck was glad they hadn't made plans with anyone. Her dads had invited Mr. Schue and Emma to the party so they could see them then.

"Congratulations, Puck. I guess you're pretty excited."

"I am. I never really had a dad, so I guess being a father to boys is pretty exciting to me. You know, I feel like I'm kind of breaking the cycle. My boys will know how much their dad cares about them, and they might not have some of the trouble I did."

Will smiled at him. "I think that's exactly what you're doing, Puck. That's exactly what you're doing."

Rachel put her hand in his right then too, and Mr. Schue walked away.

"Thank you, Noah."

"For what? Knocking you up so hard there are two badass little boys in there?" He grinned at her.

"For wanting to be the kind of dad you never had. Our boys will be just fine."

"Just so you know, they'll still be badass. They're not going to be wearing knickers and bow ties. They are going to play football and basketball. No dance classes."

"Well, maybe a few. Dancing is part of performing, and they will probably be very musically talented."

"If you want dance classes, we're going to have to have a girl. My boys can't be seen in dance class."

"Noah, you dance very well and had several dance numbers when we were in Glee."

"But I didn't like it. I just liked singing and performing. My boys are almost their own Rock Band. They don't even need a Glee club."

She shook her head at him, but there was a smile ghosting her lips for the rest of the night.

The next morning they set out for a busy day with family. They visited with Finn's mom in the morning. She was so thrilled for them, but she shook her head at the news they were having twin boys.

"Oh, Rachel. I worry for you. Twins are hard enough, but PUCKERMAN twin boys. That's going to be an adventure. The stories I could tell you about this boy- and those are just the ones I know. I'm sure for every one I know there are six more that I never had a clue about."

"Okay, now, Carol. Let's not scare my wife into early labor or anything. She already knows she married a badass. She doesn't have to worry about anything else. How is Finn's baby girl doing?"

Her smile lit up her whole face. "She's absolutely the most precious, adorable girl in the world! I just wished he lived closer. When you only have one child, you just really need to be close to your grandbabies. Finn's babies are it for me, and they live too far away. I want to be there to help out and be a real part of Danielle's life. I just miss too much here. Your mom's lucky to have two kids, Noah. At least maybe Jenna will live closer to her."

Noah glanced uneasily at Rachel. He saw her face crumble a little. They left shortly after that and went to his mom's house.

"Noah, I keep thinking about what Carol said. My dads will never get any other grandkids than what we have. What if this is it for us? What if these two badass boys are too much for me, and we don't have more? I think we need to seriously consider moving to Lima."

Puck sighed. "Rachel, we can talk about it, but I want you to think this through. Right now we have a great life in a great city. If we move here we'll have family around all the time. We wouldn't have any privacy."

"Noah, I think you're underestimating how little privacy we'll have just because we're going to be parents. At least if we moved here, we wouldn't have houseguests all the time. Think about it, Noah. Our parents will want to come visit a lot. We will have no real privacy anyway. They'll want to be by their grandkids."

Puck sighed. "We'll talk more later. You know you'll get your way if this is what you really want. I just want you to be happy. I just find it hard to believe you could be happy living in Lima. You wanted nothing more than to get out of here and pursue your dreams."

She looked at him and smiled as she rubbed her swollen belly.

"I guess my dreams have changed."

When they went inside his mom's house, she oohed and ahhed over Rachel's baby belly. Rachel was glowing, even he could see that. She had always been beautiful, but being pregnant brought out the best in her. Her hair was shinier, her skin was even more perfect, and her eyes were lit up all the time.

"Noah, look at this schedule. I've already worked out the weekends I'm going to come stay with you for the first 12 weeks of the babies' life, assuming they're born two weeks early."

He rolled his eyes. Rachel shot him a triumphant look.

"Ma! Geesh. Don't you think we're going to want some alone time?"

"No, Noah, I don't. I'm afraid Rachel is going to be exhausted and want all the help she can get. I can only take a few Mondays off, but I'm going to because all your help will be on the weekends. You will have no one all week."

She rattled on more about how much they needed to do, but Puck tuned her out, and went into the living room to see Jenna. The douche was there too. He nodded to him.

" 'Sup?"

"Not much. Congrats on the boys, man."

"Thanks. It's pretty epic."

Jenna looked at him and made a face.

"God. Why are you so smug? Rachel's the one who has to deal with two naughty boys just freakin' like you. They're gonna drive her crazy."

Puck was starting to get a little offended. He was not that bad.

"They're gonna be freakin' awesome. They're going to be football stars and play basketball and they'll probably start a rock band. I've got plans for my boys."

Jenna rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. They're going to terrorize the neighborhood. Warn your neighbors now so they can move."

Puck let that slide. He looked at the douche and asked him if he wanted to go shoot hoops. The douche was dumb enough to say yes. Not like Puck wasn't going to throw him around.

They were going out to dinner with Rachel's dads, his mom, Jenna, and the douche that night. Puck totally didn't get why the douche had to be invited to all the family events. He wasn't freakin' family. He'd pointed that out to his mom, only to have her chastise him.

"Just remind Jenna how freakin' fertile we are." He pointed to Rachel's belly. "Puckerman genes know how to be fruitful and multiply. She doesn't want to deal with this shit any time soon, so she needs to be freakin' careful."

Rachel rolled her eyes at him.

"Why do you always say that like you're so damn proud of yourself?"

" 'Cuz I am, babe. Not every guy can knock his woman up on the freakin' pill, on their freakin' honeymoon, with TWIN Badass BOYS. It's epic."

He grinned at her. She shook her head at him.

After dinner, they dropped Ellen off at the house and went to the Schue's for drinks. Before they got to the house, they noticed the house next door to the Schue's was for sale.

"What a cute house!" Rachel exclaimed.

Puck glanced at it. "Yep."

"Noah, I'm serious. Look at it. It's a beautiful house with a fenced-in backyard. It's even got a playground set with a slide and climbing wall built in. We should look at it."

"Babe, are you that set on moving back to Lima?"

"I really am, Noah. I know it seems sudden to you, but it's what I want."

"I can't promise that my mom's not gonna stop over every night."

"Noah, I can handle your mom."

"She's not the lady you know and love. She's some kind of crazy evil genius. I'm starting to think she put a spell on you to convince you to move back to Lima."

"Noah, if we live here we will have a babysitter for some special alone time."

He stopped. That was something to think about.

"You think she'd be a booty-call babysitter?"

"I think if we call it date night, she will watch the boys."

"But I'd get a booty call, right?"

"Noah, how often have I turned you down?"

He grinned at that, because they both knew the answer was not much!

When they were at the Schue's house, they mentioned the house next door and Emma squealed with excitement.

"You'd love it. It's beautiful. A fenced-in yard would be perfect for two active boys."

"You wouldn't be scared to live next to my boys?"

Emma hesitated slightly, but Will laughed.

"No, Puck. We're not scared of living by your boys."

Puck knew then that his fate was sealed, and he was moving back to Lima. He guessed he needed to find a new job before he became a total Lima Loser.

When they went back to the Berry house and were in bed, Puck pulled his wife close into his arms.

He rubbed her neck and caressed her breasts gently as he molded her body to his.

"Can't believe you want to do this, baby."

"I know, Noah. Trust me. I think it's for the best. Besides, if we move back here, I won't run into your friend Tammy."

Puck laughed. "If you're moving to Lima to get AWAY from my exes, this is the wrong place."

She smacked his shoulder.

"You were such a man-whore."

"I was a stud. A high school stud."

She sighed.

"You're still a stud." She whispered in his ear.

He kissed her and let his hands roam her body. He caressed her into a slow fever and made quiet love to her until they both found their fulfillment in each other's arms. He rubbed her belly and told the boys good night when they were done.

"Good night, Jack. Good night, Daniel."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I am NOT naming my boys after liquor."

"Jim and Jack? Joe and Peyton? Kobe and Michael?"

"I refuse to name my children after booze or sports figures. Absolutely not."

"We'll work on the name thing. No rhyming names either."

"What? Rhyming names are perfect, they're musical!"

"Not having cutesy shit with my boys. They won't appreciate it. Don't think they should start with the same first initial either."

"That's just ridiculous. What's the point of having twins if you can't coordinate things with them?"

"Rachel, I'm quitting my awesome job and moving to Lima for you. I think I could get my way on a few things right now."

She stopped and kissed him.

"You're right, Noah. You should get your way."

She kissed him and went to sleep. He stayed up most of the night worried about her evil plan. She never gave in that easily. Something was definitely up. Well, two things we're up, but one would go away if he stopped rubbing her breasts while she slept.


	8. Chapter 8

**Glee Disclaimer: The Glee characters belong to Mr. Ryan Murphy, not me. Yada. Yada. Yada.**

**Mark Salling: I miss seeing you on Glee… was hoping for some epic episodes in Season2, and so far… I'm disappointed there's not much for Puck. I'm having to live in fantasy world even more!**

**THANK YOU to the readers who have reviewed and favorite and alerted. I REALLY appreciate the feedback… SO MUCH! You have encouraged me unbelievably!**

Puck and Rachel returned to Chicago in a newish SUV, a Chevy Equinox. They also had put an offer in on the house next to the Schue's. Rachel's dad was a lawyer, so he was handling the legal aspects of the house buying. Puck was planning to send out resumes almost as soon as he got back. Rachel had already practically landed a job at the community college teaching classes. They had been THRILLED when she called to see if there were any openings. She was actually probably going to make more than she did as an actress… at least if you figured it out at an hourly rate.

Puck's mom tried not to gloat on Sunday when he told her they were probably going to move back to Lima. She just smirked, and said it was probably a good idea when he told her.

"You fucking did this too?"

"Noah, watch your language. What are you talking about?"

"You and Rachel do some scary shit together. This was all part of your plan, wasn't it, Ma?"

She laughed. "Noah, you give me too much credit. I can't plan for your Jewish wife to want to move to the same town where I live to raise my Jewish grandsons. But if I could… it would be epic."

She smiled then, and he just walked out of the room shaking his head. For once, he was glad that his mom was just Jewish and not like Jamaican or something. If that woman got ahold of voodoo dolls… SHIT!

Monday…

Puck woke up and got ready for a shower. He dreaded telling his boss he had to quit. He was going to tell him right away though. He just didn't feel right looking for another job without warning the guy. He'd been so good to him. He'd worked a really flexible schedule and gave him time off as needed. It was a freakin' great job, and he probably wouldn't get another one like it.

Before he left he rubbed Rachel's belly to say goodbye to the boys. "See ya, Mickey. G'bye, Donald." She rolled her eyes at him.

He grinned. He was going to get her to commit to names while she still owed him.

A few hours later he returned with flowers for Rachel.

"What's this for?"

"Baby, you are a rockstar. He's got a buddy who owns a place in Lima, and they need someone. I got a job already!"

They went out to lunch, and he told her about the conference call interview, and that it sounded like he'd have a very similar job in Lima. His grin was ear-to-ear.

"I just can't believe it worked out."

"I guess your mom's Catholic friend came through with her rosary."

Puck's face fell. "What?" His mom was in on this shit too?

"She just had her friend say a rosary to make sure it went well when you told your boss about quitting. She likes to cover other faiths too."

Holy FREAK. His mom was getting to be scarier and scarier. Now, not only was he moving closer, he was exposing his BOYS to this scary shit. She was a freakin' Jewish mind-ninja!

They went home to celebrate Puck-style. He pulled her into the bedroom and stripped her of her clothing. He kissed his way up her muscular, strong legs. When he got to the V between them, she hooked them around the back of his head so he could put his mouth to her most sensitive areas. He stroked up in long, thick swipes of his tongue. Then he zeroed in on her clit with swirling motions around it. He used one finger to swirl in the opposite direction inside her.

"You're a GOD!" she shouted.

He grinned at her when the waves stopped coursing through her.

"Mr. Schue's going to have to get used to hearing you sing your praises of me."

She just mumbled something into the pillow she had pulled over her face.

He pulled up next to her and slid her along his body with her back to his chest. He rubbed her tits and marveled again at how freakin' huge they were. He lifted one leg up and set her foot on her other knee. He lined himself up behind her so he could rock into her from behind, without jarring her belly too much. He put one hand on her belly, almost as if to protect his boys from rocking them too much. He gently pushed in and out of her. Her breathing hitched a little when he stabbed in deep. Then he lowered his hand to her clit and pressed down firmly as he pressed deep again from behind. He felt his balls tighten and knew he didn't have much time. He pressed her clit again and picked up his pace a little, keeping it gentle for her belly. She was like a suction cup around him, and he was about to lose his shit. He pressed kisses to her neck, under her ear. When he started sucking as he released into her, she let go and came again as well.

"Fuck me, Noah."

"Babe, you're going to have to clean up that potty mouth around my kids."

She smacked him with a pillow.

Their friends were not thrilled that they were turning their backs on Chicago for life in Lima. Mike and Anne wanted to meet at their favorite bar that night. Rachel agreed, although it would be her first time back since the "Tammy" incident.

"Babe, when are we going to pick out names."

She tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"I don't know, Noah. We don't have to rush for that. Maybe we should wait and see what matches their personalities."

He shook his head. He didn't trust her when it came to this kind of shit. She'd been learning from his mother. And that shit was scary.

"Uh-uh. I want to decide now. I want the boys to know when I talk to them who they are."

She smiled. He did love to talk to the boys. He woke up in the morning and talked to them, he went to bed saying goodnight to them. Compared to the stories she'd heard from other women, Puck was WAY more into this pregnancy than the average man.

"I like Slash or Axel. Musical names fit for both of us."

"Noah, I am not going to name my kids after your favorite rockers."

"I'm just saying that that's something that would fit for both of us."

"Maybe we should look to the theater for names."

"Nuh-uh. You owe me. You told me I should get my way of something."

She smiled at him. "You had your way with me earlier. Does that count?"

He grinned at her proudly. "It counts, but I still want to get my way with something for the kids."

He rubbed her belly again as he spoke. "Ima little worried about the whole sex thing. Did it hurt at all? The doctor seems to think we're not going to be able to fool around much longer."

That was something he had not thought about with his epic twins. The doc says it's pretty common to abstain from sex as the pregnancy progresses. He had quickly responded that he didn't know if he could keep Rachel's hands off him. The doc had laughed, but he had gotten a death glare from his wife. They would be moving to Lima soon and switching docs. Maybe the new doc wouldn't want to put a hold on the sex thing. Maybe he could get his ma's Catholic friend to pray for that!

They headed down to Shooters and found a quiet booth in the back. He thought they were home-free when a cute Hispanic girl turned out to be their waitress, but when he went to the bathroom, Tammy backed him up to a wall.

"Puck. I've missed you. Let me give you my number. I can't wait to be with you again."

"Tammy, I'm married. I'm not interested."

She snorted. She leaned up against him so he would feel the front of her tits rubbing against his chest.

"She's pregnant. She can't possibly satisfy your needs like I can. You know I know how to satisfy your needs. Every last inch of them."

Tammy boldly stroked the front of his jeans and he pushed her away.

"Whatever, Tam. Not interested. Back off."

Then he heard something that made his blood run cold.

"Listen, Bitch. Back off my man, or I will knock the ugly off your face."

"Rach, you're pregnant. Don't get into it with this girl."

Rachel drew herself up to her full height with heels. "You were nothing but a fuck buddy. You weren't even friends. I'm his wife. I'm the mother of his little badass boys. Grow up and get over it. Noah will be satisfied by me and only me. Get over yourself. You're history."

She grabbed his hand and walked him back to the booth. His mouth fell open a little.

"Babe, that was awesome. I think some of my boys' badassness is leaking out into you!"

She made a face at him, but they didn't see Tammy for the rest of the night and managed to have a great time with their friends. Puck was a little drunk when they left the bar hours later. He was all smiley and happy as he stumbled down the walk with her.

"No, shit. That was total badass, babe. The boys must have given you some of their superpower."

She smirked. "Some people would feel badly that their pregnant wife was accosted by a former lover, but I guess that's not you."

His face fell. "I'm so sorry, Rachel. I didn't mean to make it sound like I wasn't sorry. You shouldn't have had to deal with that tonight."

They got to their apartment door and unlocked it to go inside. He was all handsy in his drunkenness. He started taking off her shirt as soon as he shut the door.

"I was thinking we should talk about names now, Noah."

"Now? I don't want to talk now, Rach. I got other plans for now."

He started tugging at her nipples and unhooking her bra with his other hand.

She kissed him then, long and hard and searching. She sucked on his tongue until he was practically drooling. Then she stopped abruptly.

"Landon and Brandon?"

"No rhymes!" he groaned. He took off his own shirt and started pulling at her fly.

"No rhymes?" she asked, managing to sound as surprised as if this were the first time she had heard that.

She started rubbing his arms and swirling her fingers on his nipples. He was pulling her down the hall to their bedroom.

"Paul and John?"

"Don't bring the Beatles into this."

He pushed her onto the bed and pulled her jeans and socks off her. He tugged his own down his body and stepped out of them and climbed on top of her. He kissed her fully on the mouth so she could suck on his tongue again.

She reached down and started to stroke him with one hand. She cupped his balls and rubbed them too.

"Babe, stop that shit. We're still warming up."

He pulled his body off her and reached between her legs only to have her move down into a crouched position over his dick.

"Noah, I want you to keep an open mind. I have two names that I just adore, and I really want them."

She sucked his cock into her mouth and took him into the back of her throat. She let the deepness out and sucked on the tip then took him deep again. His breathing was off. She took him deep for a few more strokes and then stopped.

"I really like the names Chord and Levi."

She sucked him in deep again, and his breath hitched.

She used her fingers to twist his nipples as she sucked him in hard. Then she let go of him and climbed on top of him. He snuck a couple of fingers into her to see if she was ready. She was.

"C'mere, babe."

He motioned to his mouth, and she scooted up to hover over his mouth. He dove into her wanting to bring her pleasure over and over. He kept his fingers inside her, assailing her internal nerve bundles while he used his tongue on her clit. She was just about to her peak, when she scooted back down and plunged onto his hardness.

"You never answered me about the names."

Names? Seriously? She couldn't wait 10 minutes?

She ground down tight onto him and then pulled off a little, rubbing her tits in his face. He knew what to do with those and immediately started sucking on and kissing them. He pushed up into her, and she started a frantic rhythm, racing for the finish line.

"Babe, slow down."

"Can't stop fucking you."

Damn that was fucking hot. He picked up his pace to match hers. She leaned down to suck his tongue into her mouth. She reached behind her to run her nails over his balls while she rode him. They came together right after that, crashing in waves with his hands wrapped around her ginormous breasts.

He hadn't even caught his breath yet when she kissed him and thanked him for agreeing to the names that she LOVED. He cocked his head a little. HAD he agreed to those names? Chord and Levi. They didn't rhyme. They didn't start with the same initial. They weren't too cutesy. Seemed okay. She went to the bathroom to get cleaned up, and he was still trying to figure out if he'd been played.

"We don't have to if you don't want to, but I'd like to honor my dads. I thought Chord Bradley and Levi Steven would be perfect."

He just nodded. He was married to an evil genius. She'd just completely gotten her way about the one thing he'd said that he cared about.


	9. Chapter 9

**Glee Disclaimer: Ryan Murphy is the genius behind Glee and I'm so DARN glad that he thought of it all. However, I stand by my belief that he needs to reconsider Puckleberry for a little fun…**

**Mark Salling, I try not to objectify you, but since it's the only relationship we'll ever have… I'm hanging on to it.**

**AGAIN, I have to thank Kimmy77, JayJackson, and the many other reviewers and FAVORITERS who have helped me with my stories. Those two have just been especially helpful and encouraging! THANK YOU! Everyone else, I don't mean to leave you out because I REALLY appreciate your comments. Sometimes you see things in the story that I hadn't thought about or you just make me feel better about a line I wasn't sure about or… you help me. **

Puck and Rachel returned from her latest doctor appointment a little depressed. The babies were doing great, but the doctor told Rachel to start thinking about the possibility of a C-section delivery. Apparently, it was pretty common with twins, Rachel was small, and the boys were measuring big on the ultrasound.

Puck's bad news was that the doctor told them to start being very careful in "intimate relations" and that if there was any discomfort they would have to stop completely. He figured it was time to reconnect with his hand. Damn. He had been enjoying Rachel's pregnancy hormones.

They sat on the couch, and he pulled her into his arms so he could rub her belly.

"Babe, we're looking at this all wrong. The boys are doing great. They're healthy and strong, even a little big. That's a _good_ thing."

He gently moved her hair away from her shoulder so he could kiss her neck more. It was a hot day, and the air conditioning in the apartment felt good. She leaned back against him and sighed deeply.

"I know, Noah. I just didn't want to recover from a C-section. It's going to be so much harder on me and my body. Even if my tummy were going to recover from being pregnant with twins, it might not from the damage of the surgery."

"Babe, I have no doubt you will always be a MILF to me."

She snuggled up in his arms and turned around to kiss him. She knew she was being a bit pouty about this. She was thrilled that Chord and Levi were healthy and growing well, but this pregnancy thing was hard. Rachel was not used to things being difficult for her. And the sex thing… what if she couldn't make love to Noah? She didn't think she could sleep next to him every night and not touch him. He was like a magnet, and she could not stop her attraction. Even as she was just thinking about it, she had started involuntarily rubbing her hands up and down his arms. She squeezed the muscles gently.

"Babe, has sex been uncomfortable?"

She paused.

"Oh, shit! Rach, why didn't you tell me? I don't want to hurt you."

"Noah, that's not it. It's certainly not the same as when I'm not pregnant. You know that. We have a giant beach ball attached to my middle. Everything feels different. It's not 'uncomfortable', but it's not always 'comfortable'. It doesn't hurt, but we make love differently too. You're much more gentle and sweet. While I like it, I miss the 'intensity' we used to have."

"Our intensity's not going away, babe. Trust me," he smirked. "It's just on hold a while until the boys make their debut."

Things for their move to Lima were moving along quickly. Their offer on the house next to the Schue's was accepted, and they had a closing date set. Puck had traveled one day to the new job site to meet with the owner and set up a plan for work. They were packing things they could around the apartment and were looking to see what they were going to take and what would be left. Rachel had quit her job almost immediately so she could start making plans for their new house. It was just a 3-bedroom ranch, but she was excited about their first house.

He was in their bedroom packing some clothes when he heard a scream.

"What'sa matter, Rach? Are you okay? The babies?" He had raced into the spare bedroom to find her shrieking.

"The FUCK, Puckerman? You kept this shit?"

He looked down with at the box on the bed. It was labeled "baseball cards", but it was still full of his porn he had brought with him when he'd moved to Chicago. The first time she had found it, she'd been pretty pissed, but now she'd find it funny.

He smiled. "Guess I just never dumped it. Good thing too. I might need some of it for the sex drought in the next month or two."

She was not smiling back. Shit. She had to find this a little funny, right?

"Babe, you gotta think this is a bit funny. Seriously. It's not like I've even _seen_ it since that one night."

She looked at him with a sickeningly sweet smile and said, "Then I guess you won't mind DUMPING it now."

He looked at her. "I don't mind at all, but do you think we could make a little video so I have something to fall back on when we can't do it."

"Like I would videotape sex with this big, swollen belly. If I suffer without, Puckerman, you suffer without."

His eyes lit up because she hadn't said no to the video, it just didn't sound like it would happen soon, but after the babies… there were plans to be made. He stepped out into the hallway with the box to take to the garbage, but he saw the pimply faced teenage boy who lived next door.

"Here, man. Enjoy." He said as he handed the boy the entire box.

The boy glanced down into it, muttered a thanks, and practically sprinted to his own apartment. Puck felt good about doing a good deed. Could be the only game that boy got for years.

So that night at dinner Puck told Rachel the good news about C-sections.

"What's the good news about a C-section? AND, we don't know if we're going to have one or not. We're switching doctors next week. Maybe the new doctor won't want to do that."

He nodded. "But babe, I've been doing some research on the internet. There is one thing that is definitely a plus about a C-section."

"What's that?"

"You don't wreck the playground. We can fool around a lot sooner than with the other kind."

She just looked at him and blinked, then started to laugh. He smiled back, but he didn't think he'd said anything funny.

They went back to Lima, but they stayed with Rachel's dads so Puck could start painting. Rachel wanted to start with fresh paint in every room and new carpet in many. There had been a squabble about the theme of the nursery, but Puck had won that battle. Rachel thought it would be a funny twist if they used "Noah's Ark", but Puck said it was too gay, too cheesy, and too babyish for badass boys.

"But, Noah, _they are babies!_" she had protested.

"Nah, I'm not gonna do it. I moved for you. I bought a house for you. I even let you pick their names, but I am NOT going to do freakin' Biblical themes in their bedroom."

He led her over to the sporty section of comforters and décor and won her over when they found an "All Star" pattern that combined sports and stars. He had a feeling it wouldn't be the last time he saved his boys from their mother's naiveté about all things BOY.

She continued to play him when necessary for the small things. She just reminded him that she had the rest of her life to deal with badass twin boys, and he was putty in her hands.

Her dads were very helpful with painting the house and helping unpack. He didn't want Rachel lifting a finger, so sometimes he called in his mom for reinforcements in the way of distractions. She and Rachel checked out local daycare centers and made an appointment with the Rabbi so they could join their synagogue. Puck was a little worried about the whole Bris thing the boys would have to handle. It was one time he wished he weren't Jewish so his boys could get their circumcision in the hospital by a doctor who was paid to have a steady hand.

The house was ready to go in just a few short days. Puck had let Rachel's dads buy them new living room furniture as a housewarming gift. He knew it was important to Rachel, and he wanted her to be happy. He didn't tell his mom because he didn't want her to feel bad about it, but he knew she noticed all the new stuff and wondered about it.

When he brought Rachel home to the finished product for the first time, he carried her across the threshold bridal style. Her dads had decorated it as they had talked about with Rachel so there was very little for her to do except their bedroom things and anything she wanted changed.

She was thrilled with the finished project and twirled around happily in each room. The best room, in her opinion, was the boys' room. She loved the two shades of deep blue and sky blue they had painted in the room. Her dad, Brad, had painted stars on the ceiling in glow-in-the-dark paint. There were two cribs in an oak finish with matching comforters and pillows.

"I love it!" She threw her arms around his neck and he pulled her up tightly against him.

"Glad you love it, babe. I just want you to be happy."

She twirled her fingers under his neck and whispered breathily into his ear, "I know what would make me happy."

The Lima doctor had green-lighted sex until the next appointment for sure and said he wouldn't take it off the table until the last month.

Puck lowered Rachel to the floor of the boys' room and decided they might as well break in this room first. He put her to the floor and dived between her legs. He was just getting things going well with a nice rhythm of his tongue, when they heard a noise from downstairs.

"Puck? Rachel? Hello?"

"Stop, Noah. It's the Schues."

She pulled away and he groaned. Jesus. He thought his teachers cockblocking him was over when he was done with high school. He jumped up and headed downstairs so she could get herself together.

"Are we interrupting anything?" Will asked.

"No, no, we were just walking through checking things out. Rachel will be down in a minute." Noah shot him his 'Fuck yeah, you interrupted, damn it.' look.

Will smiled. "We won't stay long, we just wanted to drop off a meal for your first night. If you've already eaten, you can save it for another time."

Puck smiled at Will's unintended double entendre. "Thanks, no, we haven't had dinner yet."

Rachel came down the stairs, looking only slightly flushed and thanked them for their visit. She walked them around the house and appreciated their compliments on the décor. They had seen the house before, so they appreciated how much work had been put into this house.

Will hurried Emma out the door and told them he didn't want to keep them on their first night at homeowners. Puck nodded his thanks to him and shut the door behind the couple.

Then he leaned against the door and said, "Now, where were we?"

"Actually, I'm kind of hungry. Do you want to eat first?"

"Fuck yeah, I do. Now get over here so I can."

She flushed. "Noah, I meant dinner. Let's eat our dinner."

"Not while I'm thinking these dirty thoughts about you. Which room do you want to break in first?"

She smiled at him. "The living room?"  
He nodded and brought her to the couch. He stood her in front of the couch and started to take off her clothes.

"Too bad it's not winter, we could have the fireplace on."

He grunted as he continued removing her clothing, lovingly caressing her as he went. He kissed her feverishly, and unhooked her bra. When she was completely naked before him, he threw his own shirt off and pushed her gently down to the couch and got to his knees before her.

He kissed her belly and said, "Sorry boys. Try not to look while I defile your mom."

She giggled.

"Now, where was I?" he said in his low, sexy voice.

She felt herself go liquid at his words. He put his face between her legs, and she sucked in her breath sharply when his tongue hit her clit. He used a finger inside her to tap at the rough patch from the other side. She was overcome quickly and grabbed at the couch cushions as she grunted and called out his name.

When she came down, he had removed the rest of his clothing and was climbing on top of her. She reached down to stroke him with her hand.

"Switch with me."

She got up and let him sit down on the couch, so she could put her legs around him. She kissed him and sucked on his neck as she took him in her body deeply. Once there she stopped moving completely.

"Good?" he asked with a nod.

"Fuck yeah." She answered.

Damn. She knew how much he fucking loved it when she dropped the f-bomb. He had to restrain himself a little, but he held her hips and thrust into her. When they were both sated, he pulled her off the couch to go upstairs and clean up.

"Guess we broke in the new couch too."

She just smiled.

"Do you think we're going to love living by Emma and Will?"

"Only if they quit dropping in at inopportune moments."

She blinked.

"What? You pick up a word or two living with you. That was definitely a fucking 'inopportune' moment!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Glee Disclaimer: The characters of Glee don't belong to me.**

**Mark Salling: Now real, live people whom I don't know and have never met are singing your praises because they have met you. Wrong. Now I'm even worse. I guess it's good that I'll never have the chance to meet you in person and make a fool out of myself.**

**THANK YOU to my reviewers, alerters, and favoriters. You keep me going. My life should slow down soon, so I should be able to UPDATE even MORE frequently. I intend to start my first drabble to a prompt Kimmy77 sent me TOMORROW. Wish me luck. I'm excited for it. **

**As this story winds down, I am filled with ideas about the boys in the future. What do you think? Worth writing or skip it if it's not smut for Puck and Rachel? I'm interested in what you think.**

At the end of September, the Puckermans went to their doctor appointment and received the news they were both expecting and dreading.

"For the last 6 weeks of the pregnancy, I'm going to ask you to abstain from sex."

"Doc, _all _sex or just the intercourse?"

"NOAH!" Rachel groaned as she turned 3 shades of red.

Seriously? The doctor checked out her va-jay-jay and she was turning red because he was asking about sex? It wasn't like the doc didn't know they did it.

"Uh, you should abstain from sexual activity as a whole because we are trying to avoid the uterine contractions that can happen when orgasm is achieved."

"Damn. It's a curse to be this good."

The doctor actually laughed at that, but Rachel was shooting him her 'I'm so pissed at you right now and I'll scream about this later.' Look.

When the doctor left and she got dressed, she dragged him to the receptionist's desk and out to the parking lot.

"I cannot believe you embarrassed me like that, Puckerman!"

"What? You always tell me to ask questions when I have them. I had a question. I don't understand why you were embarrassed. The man has his head between your legs every other week, and you're worried he's gonna know we have sex? I think he already knows that, babe."

She just made a groaning noise and threw her hands up.

Later that night, he was rubbing her belly on the couch and started talking to the boys.

"Now guys, I want you to know that Mom is probably going to get grumpy for the next few weeks. Dad will too. That's what happens to parents who don't get any. We promise it will be very short-lived, and we'll fix it as soon as we can."

Rachel started laughing and pushed his hands away from her belly.

"I can't believe you're telling our boys this."

"Just trying to prepare them for your mood swings when you can't get any action."  
"_My _mood swings? Do I need to remind you what you were like before the wedding? That was just a couple of weeks! You were a basket case."

"I admit it. That's why I'm trying to warn the guys. I don't want them to get worried that their old man is always going to be like that. They gotta know how fun I'm going to be when I'm getting some play."

The next two weeks flew by for Rachel. She was going from baby shower to baby shower and preparing last-minute things for the babies. She had started her maternity leave at work and would be off for the next 4 months. As much rest and sleep as she was getting, she still had dark circles under her eyes and looked pallid all the time. Noah did his part by giving her full massages and rubbing her feet almost daily. His job training definitely paid off when he rubbed her aching muscles, but she was still sapped of all energy by the end of the day or earlier.

That night he sat her down on the couch and pulled out his guitar.

"Are you going to sing to me?" she asked and he saw the bright excitement in her eyes.

"Kind of," he told her.

She smiled at him curiously. How could he 'kind of' sing to her?

He started playing his guitar softly and then singing in his deep, beautiful timbre. He sang to the boys about his wishes for them and his hopes and fears. He sang about being a dad without ever having had one of his own. When he was done with his song, he wiped the tears from Rachel's eyes.

"When did you write that?"

"I've had a lot of extra time on my hands lately." He smiled at her.

"Noah, you're going to be the best dad ever. I want you to record that song for our boys. Noah, you should write a bunch more songs from a father to his son. It's a completely untapped market. You could make your own cd and get the entire niche!"

As she talked, she got more and more animated and bubbly.

"Slow down, babe. I'll write a few more songs for the guys, but let's not get carried away. We're going to be busy soon, and we won't have time for all this.

She nodded, but he'd seen that excited gleam in her eye. It was the same one he'd seen the first time she saw this house. Shit.

He started rubbing her belly and kissed her neck. "How are my boys doing tonight? Feels like they're ready for some football!"

She smiled, "I don't know, Noah. They were really responding to your music. I think they're going to be dancers."

He glowered at her. "Rachel, I'm not even going there with you. My boys are NOT taking fucking dance class."

She smiled at him, "Unless they want to."

He grimaced. Then he started to massage her neck and shoulders.

"Mmmm. That feels wonderful, Noah. But I thought it was time for me to help ease _your _tension."

She pushed him back against the couch and reached for the snap of his jeans. Puck felt himself go instantly hard when she licked her lips as she tugged at his fly. She put one hand under his boxers and started to stroke him. He eased his jeans and boxers down to his ankles so she could have more access to him. She used her hand to fist up and down in rapid strokes. Then she leaned over and ran her tongue up and down his length. Her hands swiped his balls, and he thrust forward a little.

"Is that a hint?" she asked with a wicked smile.

She put her mouth over him and swallowed deep until he hit the back of her throat. She sucked strong and hard and let go, running up and down his cock with her tongue. Then she took him deep in her mouth again until she felt him reach the back of her throat. She pulled him out and started stroking him with her hand again.

"God, I've missed your big dick, Noah. I can't wait to make love to you again. I wish I could just climb on and stroke you inside me."

"Fuck, Rachel, Fuck."

He could feel his balls tighten up and when she noticed it, she sucked him deep in her mouth again. He shot into the back of her throat, and fell back against the couch. He rubbed the back of her head and smiled at her as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Do you feel better, Noah?"

"Fuck, yeah, I do, Rach. You know you didn't have to do that, right?"

"You've never even hinted at it, and I love you for it."

"I love you too, Rach. You're amazing, but God do I miss being between your amazing thighs."

"Don't complain to me, Puckerman. You get SOME action. I get nothing."

"Babe, if I thought I could play around a little without giving you an amazing, intense orgasm, I would. But you and I both know it would be too awesome and send you over the flippin' edge."

She smacked him with a pillow from the couch.

A few hours later they were curled up together, sound asleep in bed.

"Mmmmmm. God. Yes. Fuck, yeah."

Puck's eyes flew open. He felt Rachel rocking a little next to him. Her hands were wandering her body, even in her sleep. That was fucking hot to wake up to.

"More. More. More, baby."

He realized she was having an intense sex dream, and it was fucking hot as hell.

"Finn. Finn. Finn."

What the fuck? Had she just shouted Finn Hudson's name during a sex dream?

"Rachel," he rubbed her shoulder. "Rachel?"

Her eyes fluttered open.

"What?"

"Did you seriously just have a sex dream about fucking Finn Hudson?"

"What? I don't know. I didn't…" she faltered.

He glowered at her. "You did, didn't you? What the fuck?"

"Noah, it's not like I can _control_ my dreams. They're meaningless. It's not like I go to bed and program myself to dream about something."

Puck knew she was right, but it still pissed him off. His wife should not be having fucking sex dreams about anyone else, especially not an ex-boyfriend when he was lying practically naked next to him. Damn it. How the hell was he supposed to sleep after that?

"It was probably brought on by our earlier activity."

"No fucking way sucking on my dick can make you think of some other guy's dick."

"I don't mean that. I guess it was just because it hadn't been on my mind at all, and maybe I was just…" she stopped when she decided there was no way to make this better and she was best off just dropping the whole conversation.

"Noah, I love you. I'm sorry this dream upset you, but I don't think you should let it. I'm going to sleep now."

With that, she kissed him and went back to sleep. She was seriously sleeping in like 30 seconds, and he was left to toss and turn as he tried to figure out how the hell an amazing blow job turned in to his wife dreaming of another man.


	11. Chapter 11

**Glee Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Mark Salling: I think you should DEFINITELY pose for Playgirl, but forget that nonsense about not being completely x-rated.**

**Thank you to JayJackson for inspiring me to write Rachel a sex dream. Finn was my idea, but she planted the seed! I love my reviewers! Thanks to those of you who have alerted and favorite as well. We're closing in soon!**

Puck woke up in a foul mood the next morning and went for a run before Rachel got out of bed. He still couldn't believe she'd had a dream about Finn Hudson! When he returned, she was already in the kitchen.

"Holy shit!" he said glancing at her stomach. "You doubled overnight."

She gave him her most irritated look. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry, Rach. I meant 'The babies got bigger overnight.' WOW!"

She tossed him a look over her shoulder and waddled up the steps to take a shower. She had another baby shower today, and Puck had no clue where they were going to put everything. One baby took over a house, but two babies seemed to require a whole block.

That afternoon she took a nap after the baby shower. Puck went in to wake her up before she slept through dinner. He slid into the bed and put an arm around her and kissed her neck.

"Oh, Mr. Schue. Mmmmmmmmmmm!"

What the fuck? First Finn, now Mr. Schue! He couldn't fucking believe this.

His jaw set into a scowl, and he debated waking her up now or letting her sleep longer. He saw a quiver out of the corner of his eye and looked again. That was shaking. Her whole body was shaking.

"Damn it. You faked it."

Rachel burst into a fit of giggles. He grabbed her around the middle.

"I can't believe you just faked a sex dream with Mr. Schue on me! That was low!"

She was still cracking up, but he was pissed.

"Then don't fucking comment about my size."

She swung out of bed and stomped out of the room. Sometimes, he just knew his wife was evil.

A few days later they went to the doctor's office and set a date for the c-section. The babies were just getting too big for Rachel to safely carry them, and she was sentenced to bed rest for the time between. She had barely been out of bed anyway, but she was upset to be confined to her bed.

"So, Doc, how long after the babies are born before we can fool around again?"

"Noah!"

Jesus. Again? Like the doc didn't know how long it had been already. He was going to have to start scheduling his own fucking appointments with the obgyn.

"Rach, you don't go back to the doctor for like 6 weeks after the boys are born. You'll be kicking yourself later if you don't get some action before then."

The doctor chuckled a little. "It's a perfectly legitimate question, Mrs. Puckerman. I know abstinence is not what got you in here to see me. Many husbands are more interested in this question than their wives are at this point, but I can assure you it might be a far different story for you after the children are born. We usually suggest to our patients to wait at least two weeks for healing, but you can resume relationships at whatever point you feel comfortable. Each person recovers differently."

"Two weeks!" Puck high-fived the doc. "See Rach, those other suckers have to wait 6 weeks! And you didn't want a c-section!"

Rachel threw her arms over her face. Puck just shrugged at the doc. The doc shrugged back and left the office.

A week later Rachel and Puck became the proud parents of two very loud, healthy baby boys. Chord Bradley and Levi Steven Puckerman were born at 4:02 p.m. weighing 5 lbs. 3 oz. and 5 lbs. 5 oz., both 18 inches long. They had dark hair and dark eyes that seemed to already be brooding. Rachel held her boys in her arms and Puck held the three of them in his arms and cried.

"I thought I'd be the one crying, Noah."

"I know. I'm a total pussy, but I've never been more proud in my life, and I don't know what I did to deserve you. I love you, all three of you more than anything. Thank you, Rachel, for giving me a chance."

That's when Rachel did cry. She caressed his cheek tenderly and told him how much she loved him. First Levi started to howl, then his brother followed suit.

When his mom filed into the room with Rachel's dads she was already crying.

"Oh, Noah. I've dreamed of this since you were in junior high. You've done more than I ever wanted from you: Jewish babies are just the icing on the cake."

"Ma, check them out. They're so damn cute. They're just the best thing ever. I can't wait to cut their hair into a Mohawk."

Rachel shot him a death look, and he laughed. "Just kidding, babe. You know I wouldn't do that." Now.

Rachel's dads were fawning all over their baby girl and fussing to make sure she was doing okay and each wanted to hold the same boy at the same time. Jenna was pretty quiet, but she was excited and hugged Puck and told him how awesome her nephews were.

Rachel and Puck adjusted to being new parents like most of them did, with little sleep and lots of help. Puck admitted how grateful he was to be close to their families because they had to rely on them a lot to make sure Rachel got some sleep and could recover.

Two weeks to the day the boys were born, he woke up with a gleam in his eye. Rachel didn't exactly have the same gleam. Her eyes were more glazed over with lack of sleep.

"Rachel, I think you need to give up breastfeeding. It's too much for you."

"I might, Noah. I just might need to, and I feel terrible about it because I know it's best for them. I just don't know if I can keep the schedule up."

He kissed her forehead. "Rachel, I will support you no matter what you decide, but if you switch to bottles, I can take turns with feedings a lot more."

She nodded. "Go back to sleep, when they're done eating. I'll bathe them and get them dressed. Don't worry about it. I'm not working today."

Puck had adjusted his schedule to work 4 days a week so he could have 3 days off with the fam. Jenna came by after school on Mondays. His mom was able to come every other Friday. Steven alternated Fridays with his mom, and Brad took every Thursday off, so the only day she had to herself was Tuesday. It wasn't perfect, but it was a pretty good support system for at least the next three months. After that, it might not last.

When Rachel woke up from her nap, Puck had not only gotten the boys bathed, dressed, and played with, he had cleaned up the kitchen too. He told her he'd taken a mini-run with them in the double jogging stroller so they would be a little tired from the fresh air. She had barely woken up and gotten out of the shower, when he wanted to put them down for a nap. She insisted on feeding them first, but she had to keep waking them up. He was walking around without a shirt on, and her eyes followed him everywhere. It was so wrong for him to have such a perfect body when she… didn't.

Puck brought the boys to bed and then joined Rachel on the couch. He rubbed her shoulders and she leaned against him. His muscular arms enveloped her.

"Mmmmm. Noah, that feels so good."

"C'mon. I'll give you a real massage."

He pulled her up by the hand and walked her to the bedroom where he laid her down on her tummy so he could rub her back and shoulders. When he had eased her aching muscles, he climbed up beside her and kissed her neck.

"Know any other aching muscles I can rub?"

"Noah, I don't know if I could even get into it. Even though I just woke up, I think I could fall asleep again right now."

"Tell you what, babe. Why don't you just let me see if I can get you into it, and then we'll play it by ear? Let's just see."

She smiled at him, and he flipped her over on top of him and just kissed her for about ten minutes. They literally just kissed. He didn't let his hands wander far or anything, he just made out with her like they were back in high school. Pretty soon, it was her hands that were wandering over his naked torso. She started to blow into his ear and kiss his neck and let her kisses wander to his chest.

He flipped her over and kissed her neck. She could feel his arousal between her legs. She ground down a little toward him. He pulled her pants and underwear down and tossed them to the side of the bed. He lowered his mouth to the v between her legs and slid his tongue out to lightly touch her clit. She cried out immediately.

"Babe, just so you know, if you cry out Finn's name, I'm divorcing you."

She started laughing, in big, body-shaking fits, and he thrust his tongue into her. He used a finger to swirl into her depths. His tongue stroked and teased her without mercy. She was soon falling into a powerful orgasm, the power of its crescendo taking over her body.

She was shaking, and he kissed her lightly on the neck.

"So, babe, what's the verdict?"

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Put out or get out, Puckerman."

He smirked.

He stripped off his shorts and lied down on his side, pulling her in front of him, as he had done when her body was pregnant and swollen. "I think this will bother your stitches the least, but if it's straining or uncomfortable PLEASE tell me."

He kissed the back of her neck and lined himself up at her entrance. He slid into his place and had started a slow, steady rhythm when he heard the first stirrings of a baby. He picked up the pace a little and hoped she wouldn't notice. He dropped his finger to her clit and started circling. She was breathing fast, and he was stroking in and out of her. Damn, he missed this. She was starting to tighten around him. She was close. Damn close. He pressed harder with his thumb and watched her crash.

He kissed her neck as she came around him. Then he heard a baby start to full-out wail.

"Just a sec, Rach." he whispered.

He was too late. She pulled off him and jumped out of bed, grabbing a robe to throw on as she ran out of the room to attend her son.

Shit. He was left in the bed, unsatisfied, with the bluest balls ever. Shit. It was just like fucking high school -at least that week he'd dated her.

Just as he was about to take matters into his own hands, Rachel returned to the room. He had hopes of her ready to finish what she'd started, but she had Chord with her. He was cooing quietly in her arms. She was talking to him in her sweet mommy voice.

Damn. He loved his boys, but they were going to have to learn that Daddy had needs too.


	12. Chapter 12

**Glee Disclaimer: I own nothing of significant value, like the characters and storyline of Glee.**

**Mark Salling: I haven't bought your music yet, but I know I will so I can pretend you're singing to me. (And touching me… and doing other things to me. What? I have a GREAT imagination!)**

**Author's Note: As I write this, I intend for it to be the last chapter. Sometimes things change as I write.**

**I did not note in my last chapter that the FINN dream was not meant to be symbolic. It was meant to be just a random sex dream that people have that don't make any sense. (I have them all the time, about people I'm not even remotely attracted to, but pregnant women seem especially vulnerable to them- even more than me.) I didn't address it in the last chapter because it was not meant to be a big deal although Puck thought it was- he's Puck. He thinks anything sexual not involving him is a big deal. He's Puck. I think anything sexual INVOLVING him is a big deal. BIG!**

**Enjoy… thanks for reading!**

Puck did not get his play for another week. He was disappointed that it took so long, but Rachel needed sleep, and the problem with having two babies was that if one was sleeping… it didn't mean the other one was.

When he managed to take both the boys for a run so Rachel could get a nap, he put them down when he got home and went to lie in the bed with her. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight, but he didn't want to wake her up. Well… he WANTED to wake her up, but he wouldn't. He just wanted to hold her. Well… he WANTED more, but he would settle for holding her.

Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep too. Then he started having the most badass dream where Rachel was sucking him hard and tight. Her lips were so good wrapped around him, that he hated to wake up. When he did, he realized this was the best thing, it wasn't a dream at all. BUT, since it had been so long, he was about to ruin the moment.

"Rach, stop. Stop." He said, pushing her away. "Good God, woman. Let me do this right."

He kissed her, and she was wrapping her fist tightly around him again.

"Rachel," he hissed. "Stop. Seriously. It's been fucking forever, and I can only have so much control."

He reached between her legs and started to slowly stroke his hand back and forth, putting pressure right on her clit. She wasn't ready yet, that much he knew. He kissed her neck and started working his way down, ignoring her swollen boobs. She was cutting back on breastfeeding, but he knew not to touch her now no matter what.

He lowered his lips to her clit and kissed her gently. When she threw her knees apart, he put his body fully between her legs and started licking slowly. He inserted one finger and twitched it back and forth, rubbing the rough patch on the back of her clit. His tongue started working her faster, pushing her for more. When she came on him, his finger was joined by another, and he used his tongue to lap up her juices.

He pulled himself up to her and positioned himself at her entrance. She hesitated a little at his first thrust, but he stopped to make sure she was okay.

"More." She urged him on, and pulled him tighter with her legs wrapped around his waist. He pushed into her and started using his finger on her clit again. He wasn't going to last long, and even if he was, who knew when the boys would wake up? He wasn't chancing that again!

He kissed her, and murmured to her how much he loved her as he started a steady pace pushing in and out of her. She sucked him in her body and used her legs to pull him in tighter. He balanced himself with one hand and used the other to work her clit harder as he quickened the pace.

"Rachel. So good. Can't last much longer. You ready?"

She crashed then. She called out his name and came all over him. He collapsed on top of her and had a huge smile on his face as he kissed her.

"Mmmmm, Noah. That was amazing."

"No fucking kidding."

He gently ran his hand up and down her cheek. Then he got up to get something to clean them off. He wondered why the boys were fine now. Sure, time to spare was all well and good, but… they needed to work on their timing. Maybe he should try for round two.

He pulled Rachel up close to him and started kissing her neck.

"I hope you don't have any dumb ideas about round two, Noah. My abdominal muscles can't handle it."

Shit. He rubbed her tummy gently. "You okay, babe?"

"I'm okay, but I couldn't handle more right now. I'm still healing."

He fucking knew that, but he had kind of forgotten in the heat of the moment. "We'll do it another way next time, I promise. I'm sorry. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Noah, it was good. It was SO good that I didn't notice until now. Trust me, I was feeling no pain."

She smiled, and he smirked back at her. 'Course he was a badass stud. His babe was now in the "hurt so good" zone. He'd brought her there before.

TIME PASSES* Time passes* TIME PASSES* Time passes* TIME PASSES*

Puck and Rachel had fallen comfortably into the role of parenting. Their parents had taken turns alternating babysitting every other Saturday night, sometimes overnight, so they actually had more date nights and alone time than most young couples. Puck even admitted to Rachel how wise she had been to move the family to Lima. The boys adored their grandparents and Aunt Jenna. Theirs was a small, but loving family. The boys had quickly developed charm and knew how to twist virtually every person they came in contact with around their little fingers- until their little badass came out. Then they sent the adults running in terror at their sheer wickedness.

For their two-year anniversary, Puck had arranged it with their parents to take the boys, so he could take Rachel to Chicago for the weekend. It was a surprise for Rachel, but he wanted her to enjoy it. Although the boys had stayed overnight for a night, this would be their first time away.

Rachel had pushed and pursued her dream for him to record some songs for a dad to sing to his kids. The cd had actually met with some moderate success, and they were pursuing a second cd with the two of them singing to the kids. They were still polishing some of the songs, but he figured it would do at least as well as the first two so there would be some extra money coming in.

He came home from work with two dozen red roses for his wife, and kissed her.

"Happy anniversary, babe. I love you even more than I did two years ago."

She smiled adoringly. "That's because you weren't getting any two years ago right now. Our anniversary is Monday, Noah."

He smiled at her. "I know. That's why I took it off so we can have a long weekend together. Pack your bags. We're taking the boys to my mom's, and we're going to Chicago for the weekend. I've got it all worked out with our parents, and we need to go, so get packed quickly."

Rachel made a face. That wasn't what he'd been hoping for. "But, Noah, _three nights?_ I've never been away from the boys for more than a night. They're babies. I don't want to leave them for that long."

Puck's face fell. Seriously?

"Rachel, I made reservations. I have tickets to FOUR shows and reservations for dinner at your favorite restaurant. I've made plans for _months_ now."

She looked at him and grimaced. "You're right. We should go."

He sighed audibly, and she walked into the bedroom to start packing. His mom called while she was in there.

"I figured I'd come over to the house so you didn't have to try to pack everything up. What time should I get there?"

"Not sure. Rachel just started packing." His tone sounded defeated.

"Was she less than enthusiastic, Noah?"

"She didn't really want to go."

"That's the problem with surprises, Noah. They leave people 'surprised', and you never know how they're going to react. Fortunately for you, I prepared something for this, so I will be right over."

Noah went into the bedroom to hurry his wife along, and found her crying quietly while she was packing.

"Oh, babe. I don't want you to be this upset about this. I thought you would LIKE getting away from the boys for a while. I thought you would want to just have the two of us together for our anniversary. I'm sorry."

"I do want to do this, Noah. I'm just nervous. I don't want to miss them too much."

"Babe, it's only a couple of days. We're coming back."

Just then they heard a crash from the boys' room. Now that they were moving, nothing was sacred. They were 15 months old and WILD. They didn't walk, they ran. They didn't talk, they SHOUTED (only a few words, but still!). They didn't just smile, they smirked. Puck thought it was total badass. Rachel thought it was perfectly adorable because, well, she was their mom.

Puck said, "Stay here!" and went tearing into their room. The boys had started playing their latest favorite game which was basically, throw whatever you can. One of their toys had knocked over the baby monitor and a little ceramic figurine from their bris.

He moved the boys down to the living room and put the gate up to section them off from the hallway so he could clean up the mess. While he was still cleaning up, his mom got there, and they both squealed with delight when they saw her. Her whole face lit up. Every time Noah saw that, he wondered if he used to do that for her too. He felt guilty that he'd been such a difficult teenager. His mom never really complained about him, but he still felt bad because he knew it had been awfully hard on her.

"Let me go talk to Rachel. I brought something for her."

She walked down the hallway, bag in hand, and found Rachel packing with red, puffy eyes.

"Rachel, how are you sweetie. I brought you something for your anniversary."

Rachel swiped at her eyes.

"Thank you. You really didn't have to do that."

She opened the bag and found a red bustier and matching thong set with lace garters and thigh-highs. Her face flushed almost as red as the outfit.

"Rachel, you're a terrific mom and you love your boys, but you're also a wife and a woman. You loved Chicago before you had your boys, and you'll love visiting it with just Noah. Enjoy the chance to reconnect with your husband. It's important for the two of you to enjoy each other too. I'm proud of Noah for knowing he needs to do these things for you, the two of you. I don't know how he knows, but he must just feel that you need it. Please go. Your dads and I have a wonderful time planned for the boys, and I want you to have a great time too."

Rachel hugged her mother-in-law and thanked her for the gift. She finished packing and kissed her babies goodbye. They didn't cry when Puck and she left. They rarely did. As much as she adored these two boys, they were Daddy's boys. They wanted her when they were tired or sick, but the rest of the time their eyes were all for their dad. He was an amazing father. He completely focused his attention on them when they were awake. He talked to them the whole time he interacted with them, and he did everything he could with them. She found him even sexier as a dad than she had just as a husband.

On the ride in the car, they turned on the radio and sang. They talked about all things not children, and they held hands. As they went by a Rest Area on the way, Puck reminded her he had added Rest Area sex to his bucket list, and that would make this an ultra-fabulous weekend.

She laughed. "Noah, did you ever notice that almost everything on your bucket list is related to sex?"

"I prioritized, babe. I prioritized."

He smirked at her and squeezed her hand.

"I am thinking about how we can cross one thing off your bucket list." She fluttered her eyelashes at him seductively.

His heart skipped a beat.

"Which one?" he asked, his voice sounding like gravel.

"Getting you a daughter."

"Oh," he tried not to sound disappointed.

She laughed. "You don't want a little girl, Noah?"

"No, that's not it. There's just a lot of really good stuff on that list. Do you think you want to have another baby NOW?"

"Well, the doctor assures me it will take a while after being off the pill, and I would like our children not _too_ far apart in age. Don't you think the boys would adore a baby?"

"I think the boys are still babies and wouldn't know what to do with a baby. BUT, I would love to have another baby. You do understand that we might have another boy… or twins again?"

"The doctor assures me that the chances of having identical twins again are very slim. I would like a girl, but another boy would be okay too."

He smiled at her and kissed her hand as he drove. This was a big change from how paranoid she'd been since the boys were born. She had been on the pill since she quit breastfeeding, and she'd been diligent about making him wear a condom for two months after she started the pill.

When they got to the city, they checked into their hotel and went straight up to the room. She was all over him as soon as he closed the door. She started ripping at his shirt, and threw her legs around his waist.

"Rachel, we gotta wait for the bellhop to deliver the bags. Wait. Hold on."

He kissed her, and she ran her hands through his hair, the back part. He kissed her, and put her down on the bed. He let his hands tug at her blouse, buttons popped off. He put his mouth to her nipple and breathed softly on them. He blew and sucked, blew and sucked. She was running her hands over his shoulders and begging for more.

He pulled her skirt off, and shoved the nylons to the floor. He tore her panties from her body and put his mouth on her clit and sucked her in gently. She cried out, and he gentled her back to the bed. He took his tongue up and down her slit in long strokes and went back to the clit to gently rub it. He thrust a finger in her and swirled it around and around inside her. She was grinding down insistently on his fingers. He swirled his tongue around in a rhythm on her tightness.

"Noah. God. More. More."

He started to use little swipes of his tongue inside her and around her crevices, then back to her clit. She was close.

"Noah. Noah. Oh, God. Noah."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Shit. The bags, babe."

Rachel twisted on the bed, frustrated. Her eyes were black and hard, irritated at missing out.

"Stupid bellhops," she muttered on her way to the bathroom to hide.

The bellhop came in, looked at the wrinkly, messed up bed, the closed bathroom door, and the absence of a woman and smirked at Puck.

"Here you go, sir. I hope you and your wife have a great time in Chicago."

Puck tipped him generously and got rid of him quickly. Rachel was in the bathroom, breathing deeply and no less frustrated.

"Noah, thank God you got rid of him. I was about to take matters into my own hands."

"That'd be hot too, babe. Just let me watch."

He stepped out of his jeans and boxers, picked her up off the bathroom counter, and slid her onto his hard dick, standing up. She hissed when he entered her. Her legs were wrapped around him, and she put her hands around his neck and sucked on his ear.

"Rachel."

"Noah."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

An almost embarrassingly few thrusts later, they both came, standing up in their hotel room. He leaned against the door as he was ready to pull her off him.

They showered, called their friends Mike and Anne, and met them for drinks.

The rest of the weekend was a beautiful mess of unbridled passion, adult fun at shows and bars, catching up with old friends, and lots of quiet times for Rachel and Puck. They called the boys and tried talking to them, but the boys were too little to care. Chord had a runny nose, but Elise was sure that it wasn't an ear infection. Levi had bumped his forehead on the coffee table, but there was hardly a time since they could roll that one or the other wasn't sporting a bruise. Pictures were ridiculous.

All too soon they were headed home to see their boys. When they got there, Rachel's dads greeted them. They looked exhausted.

"Is everything all right?"

"Yessss, I guess so."

"What's wrong, what's going on?"

"I think Levi knows a new word."

"That's fantastic. What is it?"  
"Badass."

Puck started laughing, and Rachel glared at him.

"Noah, you did NOT teach our boys to say 'badass', did you?"

"Not on purpose, but they might have picked it up. 'S not my fault. Everyone calls them that. 'S not just me, you know."

She scowled at him and narrowed her eyes. The boys were so happy to see them they toddled over.

"Badass. Badass. Badass." Levi looked at them and smiled.

"Total badass, Levi." Puck scooped him up and kissed him.

Rachel scowled again.

That night the boys were up all night. Rachel or Puck was continually putting one down and the other would get up.

"Noah, I think you're right. I don't want a little girl until the boys are older and actually sleep. AND, I want you to clean up your filthy mouth. I don't want my sweet little Barbara saying badass all the time."

"Oh, no, Rachel. We can wait to have a girl, but when we do, I get to name her. I let you pick everything with the boys, but if I get my girl, she's going to be my sweet little Caroline."

That was how Puck got back into Rachel's good graces that night. They made love again, because Rachel was so impressed he still remembered how everything had started with a song that many years ago in high school.

She went back on the pill the next day and forgot about wanting to have a little girl for now. Until… eight weeks later she was throwing up in the toilet and feeling miserable with the flu.

"Rach," Puck said from the doorway. "You sure this is the flu?"

"What else could it be? Are you sick? Do you think it's food poisoning?"

He looked at her crookedly. "Well, Rach, do you think you might be… pregnant?"

She blanched.

"I mean we did fool around a lot in Chicago."

"Noah, that was one weekend, and I just quit my pills that very weekend. It takes longer than that."

"Rach, when was your last period?"

"Fuck you, Puckerman, you do have Super-strength sperm!"

She threw the bathroom cup at him, and he moved aside to dodge it.

"Maybe I'm wrong."

She collapsed onto the floor and started to cry.

"You're not wrong. It better not be twins. I just want a girl. A sweet little girl, is that so much to ask for?"

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Later that day, the pregnancy test confirmed that Puck did indeed have super-potent sperm.

When sweet little Caroline was born, the parents and grandparents were thrilled.

Levi asked, "Can she play football?"  
Chord announced, "She doesn't seem badass to me."

Everyone laughed, except Rachel.

Finn sent a sweet card that wished them well and hoped that Sweet Caroline would never meet a guy like Noah Puckerman. Puck scowled when he read the note, but Rachel just laughed.

"It didn't turn out so bad for me." She said and kissed him. But that got Puck worried…

*********** 14 ½ years later**********************************

The Puckermans were crowded around the dinner table. Levi and Chord were wearing their football jerseys, but they didn't have practice until later. Cari had started her freshman year at McKinley High, and they were juniors. They were gorgeous replicas of their dad in his high school glory. The girls chased them, and they let themselves get caught, time and again. Their dad kept them stocked in condoms in secret. He had told them the curse of their sperm was a difficult burden to carry, but he was not going to upset their mother with their teenage antics. He had a little incentive for them if they made it out of high school without getting anyone pregnant, and another one if they made it out of college without getting anyone pregnant. For the most part, they were great kids. If they got out of hand or tried to get away with too much, their dad was there to reel them back in. And he always knew. Somehow he always knew when his boys were too far over the edge.

"Chord, I need to borrow your car tomorrow because mine is in the shop." Rachel told her son as she passed the salad bowl to him.

Puck's eyes shot to Chord's. "Why don't you vacuum it and clean it out for your mother tonight?"

Chord nodded, mentally translating it to: clean off the seats and throw away all the condom wrappers before your mother has a heart attack.

Now that Cari had started school, Puck had a new, special project for the boys. They were to deter any male attention they could from their little sister. They were to absolutely steer any interested male away from their sister and onto someone else. So far it hadn't been too difficult. As beautiful as Cari was, there weren't too many fools willing to take on _both_ Puckermans.

"I just don't understand it, Mom. In junior high, I was popular with the boys. Now no one wants to date me."

Rachel smiled sympathetically at Caroline. She understood all too well what her daughter was going through, but she was puzzled by it. Caroline was even more beautiful than Rachel had been, and her personality was much less overbearing than the young Rachel. Caroline had ALWAYS been popular with boys and girls alike. Rachel thought Caroline would have boys beating a path to the door by now, and nobody had even asked her to the Homecoming dance.

"Maybe you could go to the dance with your friend, Sam." Puck offered.

Rachel and Caroline sent him twin irritated looks.

"Dad, he's my _friend_, not someone I want to date. Plus… I'm pretty sure he's gay."

'Zactly. "That makes it not okay to be his friend? Why are you so worried about dating? Can't you just have fun with your friends? What's the rush to date?"

Caroline stomped off muttering that her dad thought she was still a baby.

Puck caught the boys' looks and nodded to them. Money would be exchanged later. Rachel caught the look among the three boys.

"Alright, tell me that look's not what I think it is."

The boys' faces busted out their deer-in-the-headlights look. Shit.

Rachel's eyes narrowed at Puck.

"Boys, go to your rooms. Noah, do _not _tell me that you set the boys up to derail romantic suitors for Caroline."

" 'S not as bad as it sounds."

"Damn it, Noah. I can't believe you did this to your daughter. She's a young woman who is seeking out life's experiences."

" 'Zactly what I'm afraid of. Think about it, Rach. She's got out gene pools. Yours and mine. She's a hormonal nightmare. I want more for my little girl."

She smiled at him because he was the sweetest dad ever.

"You've got to let her grow up sometime, Noah."

"Not in the back of some douche's car, I don't."

She smiled.

"Noah, you have to let her live her own life. Don't you think I wish you didn't provide our sons with the economy size packages of condoms that have to be replaced all too often?"

"You know about that?"

"Noah, I know everything. You may be badass, but I'm an evil genius. Nothing gets by me. Your mother taught me well."

He kissed her and pulled her into his lap.

"I love her too much. She's my Sweet Caroline. I don't want her to grow up."

"Trust her, Noah. She's more like me."

" 'Zactly what I'm afraid of, Rach. You fell for a loser like me. What's to stop her from falling for a Lima Loser?"

"Noah, this is exactly what _I'm hoping for_ for our daughter. I want her to have this, someone like you. You're a badass stud, and I'm hopelessly in love with you."

AN: Noah called the boys off, against his better judgment, and Cari had a date to the dance after all.

I may come back to this time frame when I feel up to it. I'd love to write more about their childhood and the teenage years…

Thanks for reading. SPECIAL thanks for reviewing and favoriting.


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